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Published 12:30 30 Dec 2013 GMT
Updated 07:38 18 Dec 2014 GMT

“If Johnny from next door has been giving you the eye, New Year’s Eve is a chance to lead him down the garden path. When you’re throwing the eye to the other side of the barn dance, keep an eye out for the good ones, not the ones that look like they’d steal the milk out of your tea.”
Be honest (without sale!)
“Let it be known you think he’s yer man. Men understand subtlety as well as my goats understand French. Besides, you’re not getting any younger now are you?”
Give him “the look”
“The look that says “I might be easier than a two piece jigsaw puzzle, but you have to find out for yourself.”
Keep him waiting
“Don’t go eating the face of him right away, or he’ll lose interest before the clock strikes midnight. Then where will you be? Alone in the corner tearing a beer mat to shreds, that’s where!”
Go in for the kill
“Sure look it. If he hasn’t noticed you by midnight just lob the gob. He could do a lot worse!”
Pride slightly wounded, I’m making my way to the ferry. She’s an auld wagon, but she’s no fool. I hope you’ve enjoyed Granny Mary’s advice. And remember don’t go kissing any frogs just because it’s New Year’s Eve.
To find out more about this dysfunctional, yet fully functioning, Irish brewing family make sure to check out, www.mcgargles.com.
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