‘Met anyone special?’
Being single is pretty damn fantastic, but let’s face it, you already knew that. The unlimited bed space, the freedom to watch, eat and do whatever you want, and a whole lot more greatness where that came from.
No matter how you feel about your single status, however, there are certain questions that are guaranteed to annoy you.
To celebrate the release of the brand spanking new movie, How To Be Single, in cinemas on February 19th, we’re bringing you seven things all single people are so sick of hearing.
1. “How are you single?”
Yes, it’s meant as a compliment, but it does sting. A lot. We don’t know how the most beautiful man in the bar doesn’t seem to rank our existence, or how gym guy has yet to work out we’re actually hilarious, but having it pointed out repeatedly isn’t going to help the cause.
2. “Your time will come.”
If you’re single and your best friend/sister/neighbour/cousin three times removed happens to be getting married, someone, somewhere will predict that ‘you’re next’ to walk up the aisle. We’re lucky we’re surrounded by so many psychics. ‘Cause otherwise we’d drown in a sea of misery and despair waiting for ‘the one’.
3. “Why don’t you ask him out?”
Look, we’re all for equal opportunities, and we admire any girl who has the confidence to saunter up to that guy and make the plunge. But if we like the guy, there’s been flirting and we’re just short of holding a neon sign declaring our lust, we don’t need to hear how we should really just ask him out.
4. “The clock is ticking.”
The elusive body clock, a.k.a the fear of every Irish mammy that you’ll ‘miss out’. Why doesn’t anyone realise you might ‘miss out’ on the best craic ever if you don’t go out and have fun as a singleton?
Yes, we know there’s an imaginary line where women rush to do the whole engagement/husband/baby thing, but we’ll let you in on a secret. Maybe, by some divine intervention, we’re happy being single. Ever think of that?
5. “There’s plenty more fish in the sea.”
We don’t want another fish. We want our fish. And we’re not even a fish. Why does it all have to be so confusing? Why can’t we just be happy in love?
6. “So, any scandal?”
Because who doesn’t love to be asked the same probing question over and over again?
If you’re one of the single girls in your group, you’re all too familiar with being hounded for gossip – before a night out, during a night out, and on the morning after the night before.
7. “I’ve got this great friend. I think you’d be perfect together.”
You’re not Cilla Black, and we’d prefer if you left man one, two and three behind the closed doors. Chances are any promise of a date will be followed up with awkward conversation and a deep discomfort reserved for the shift dress you’re dragging down your knee.
We’ve enough problems sitting through the dates we plan for ourselves.
‘How To Be Single‘ will be in cinemas nationwide on 19th February. Check out the trailer below.
