In this weekly feature, Her.ie goes behind enemy lines to see what it’s really like to be single in Ireland.
From speed dating to making speedy escapes, our no-holds-barred blog will follow our attempts to venture into the dating jungle, play the field and share any wisdom that we finds along the way.
Week Thirty: Who Says Men Can’t Multitask?!
We really wanted to have a positive dating story for you this week. We really, really did.
Unfortunately, things did not go to plan.
Two weeks ago, I bumped my friend Aine on a night out and spent a large proportion of the night chatting to one of the guys in her group. Who, as luck would have it, was very attractive in a ‘Zac Efron’s face combined with Orlando Bloom’s hair’ kinda way. It sounds a bit weird but trust me, he was a hottie.
He was also really good craic and we spent the whole night trading dating horror stories and throwing mild abuse at each other or (as it is otherwise known in Ireland) flirting.
At the end of the night, we got some food at the nearby chipper and as we hung around outside waiting to hail a cab, I silently said a prayer to Beyoncé that he’d lob the gob… or at least ask for my number.
The taxi was hailed, it pulled slowly towards the curb, I leaned forward in slow motion in anticipation of the smooch I’d been waiting for (and also because I’d had a few too many vodka and my feet were sore).
Nothing.
Well I got a polite ‘It was lovely to meet you, we should catch up for a pint again’ but to be honest, I think a smack would have been kinder.
So, I dragged my disappointed (and ever growing, thanks to those taco fries) ass home feeling sorry for myself.
Now, I’m not one to dwell on these things so I got on with the business of the week and forgot about my wounded pride. Until, a text popped up on my phone from Ainé, saying that Tom (aka ‘he who left me hanging’) had asked for my number and asking whether she should pass it on.
Back. In. The. Game.
Delighted with myself, I gave her the green light, he followed up with a text asking if I wanted to meet for a drink a few days later and I started work on the perfect ‘I put in no effort but I look amazing’ outfit.
Thursday night arrived and me and my first date black jeans made our way to the bar we’d arranged to meet in.
Tom was at the bar, a vision in jeans and a shirt that definitely didn’t come from Penneys. Result.
He got the drinks in and I was just about to launch into my first hilarious anecdote when I heard a woman calling out an announcement that made my blood run cold.
“Would anyone who is taking part in tonight’s speed dating go through to the back area please?”
As he started to get up from the table, I sat frozen in shock hoping that he had just realised that he needed the loo.
Nope. He turned around and said “I thought it would be a laugh, what do you think?”.
He wanted to go speed-dating. With me. On what I thought was a date.
I hadn’t a clue what to do.
Either Tom couldn’t even wait until after our meeting to start checking out other women or he thought that parading a bunch of no-hopers in front of me would increase his chances of sealing the deal. Neither screamed romance but hey, maybe I’m just old-fashioned.
Figuring it was too late to back out now, I blindly followed him through.
And, as it turns out, I had a great night.
Given that I was still in shock about the premature end of my latest love affair, I wasn’t putting much thought into wooing another man so I had a bit of a laugh, a few drinks and enjoyed the experience.
At the end of the night, I met my original date and though we spent an hour chatting and comparing notes, no moves were made… leading me to conclude that he either thought our initial flirtation was the start of a budding friendship or was hoping for some type of swinger situation to evolve.
Either way, the fact that I can’t even look at him without feeling weak at the knees (and I’m not much for sharing) means that neither of those are likely to work out.
On the upside, I did get a message from the speed-dating people telling me that I matched with one guy from the other night…so, watch this space.
