Stage 5 Clinger: Eleven People You Should Never Have Sex With

If we’re honest, the majority of us are guilty of sleeping with someone that we probably shouldn’t have. This issue may have been due to a number of things; too much alcohol (not that it is much of an excuse), a moment’s passion (that would have been better let pass), or the dreaded case of ‘I really thought I liked them’, (until you realised they’re a complete jerk). Having chemistry with someone who is mutually attracted to you is great, but sometimes it isn’t always worth acting on…  Here are the eleven people you should never have sex with. 1. Your Boss You’ll never be able to engage in a conversation or maintain eye contact with them ever again, and this is kind of important (really crucial) for your job. Don’t jeopardise your position and hard work for a few minutes pleasure. Also when your wages go into your bank account at the end of the month you will feel like a little like Vivian Ward from Pretty Woman. It’s just not worth it. 2. A Friend’s Ex  Because you’re better than that. 3. Stage 5 Clinger We’ve all met one of those people that fall spectacularly into the “needy” category; it’s best not to enter into a horizontal dance with this person, their moves may get a little hard to handle, (no pun intended). 4. Your BFF If you value your relationship you will not engage in bedroom activities because lets face it, it’s never the same once they’ve seen you naked. 5. Taking One For The Team a) Having sex with someone that you’re just not that into is for most a horrible experience and something that you just can’t wait to be over. b) Pity sex is a dangerous activity. Never feel you have to have sex with someone just because they like you. If you know they have more feelings for you then it’s probably best to keep things at second base. Remember the heart is a vital organ, be sound and don’t go around breaking them needlessly. 6. Fellow Colleagues This needs little explanation. Work will never be the same again. Once the rumours start, the slagging is soon to follow. Having sex with a co-worker has a tendency to escalate quicker and happen more than once. When one of you lose interest things can become really awkward and that’s not an environment you’ll enjoy participating in everyday. NOTE: Ladies don’t be under any illusion, no matter how good you both are at sneaking around, someone always finds out. Always. So what we’re trying to say is, don’t screw the crew. 7. Your Ex Why bother recycling old goods? As cliché as it sounds, they’re an ex for a reason. Been there, done that, now leave his t-shirt in the box of belongings you returned to him after the break up. 8. Six One News It is never a good idea to sleep with a mouthpiece, someone that is renowned for their kiss and tell stories. This person can also be referred to as the parish bulletin. Someone, that if we’re really honest, put in a performance that wasn’t exactly anything to shout about the majority of the time. 9. Housemate You can’t act the Slumdog Millionaire in your onesie, cosied up on the couch with your two favourite men, Ben and Jerry. Things can get a little awkward if you begin to have feelings that are not reciprocated. Also it’s important to note that any future partner may find it a little intimidating to know you’ve had sex with someone you live with.  (By intimidating we really mean jealous). 10. Someone Who Is Otherwise Engaged There are enough single men and women out there to have sex with. Simple as. 11. Spite Milligan Revenge sex, amazing as it may be, the thrill and excitement of it all will never last. Bumping uglies with an ex's friend or an ex's relative out of spite is an area that should remain terminally out of bounds. Exceptions can obviously be made if you have actual proper feelings towards the person, but just make sure those feelings are not interwoven with anger and resentment, because we can guarantee you’ll feel much worse after playing the role of Spite Milligan.