If you’ve secretly been pining after the love of your life, we may have just found you the perfect solution.
So how do you make someone fall in love with you?
By asking them 36 questions which have been proven to foster intimacy between two people.
Forget chit-chat about the weather, or first date small talk, the questions were designed to propel a relationship of any stage, to a deeper, meaningful connection.
Starting out slowly, the questions kick off asking general aspirations, but soon move to relationships between the person and their mother, to a respondent’s fear of death and the last time you let yourself cry.
Based on an experiment by psychologist Arthur Aron, 52 sets of male and female strangers were paired off in a lab and asked to complete the questions. Following the questions, the strangers were then asked to rate how intimate they felt they could be with their partner.
Sealing the intimacy deal, the pairs were then asked to stare into each other’s eyes for four minutes without speaking.
The experiment showed that if you could answer the 36 questions, then you could build a lasting relationship with your confidante.
And just six-months after Aron’s study, one couple did just that, marrying after they had grown such a close-formed friendship and love.
The social experiment shot to fame again this week after New York Times’ columnist Mandy Len Catron
attempted the trial herself… and wound up in love.
So what are the magical questions?
Here are the 36 insights to a soul, that could help you fall madly in love.
Now all we need to do is track down Jamie Dornan…
- Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
- Would you like to be famous? In what way?
- Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you're going to say? Why?
- What would constitute a perfect day for you?
- When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
- If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you choose?
- Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
- Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
- For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
- If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
- Take four minutes and tell you partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
- If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?
- If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
- Is there something that you've dreamt of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?
- What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
- What do you value most in a friendship?
- What is your most treasured memory?
- What is your most terrible memory?
- If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
- What does friendship mean to you?
- What roles do love and affection play in your life?
- Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
- How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's?
- How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
- Make three true "we" statements each. For instance, "we are both in this room feeling..."
- Complete this sentence "I wish I had someone with whom I could share..."
- If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
- Tell your partner what you like about them: be honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met.
- Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
- When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
- Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
- What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
- If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?
- Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
- Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
- Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
