Thanks, But No Thanks: How To Tell Him You’re Just Not Interested

Picture the scene: you’ve just had a lovely evening with a gorgeous guy. You’re about to end the night and he asks you when he can see you again. There’s just one problem: you didn’t feel that elusive spark.

Yes, he was funny, charming, entertaining and pretty attractive but the chemistry wasn’t there. Hey, it happens, and if you’ve ever been in this situation before you’ll know how awkward and embarrassing it can be for both parties when you have to tell him that you don’t want to see him again.

So how do you let him down gently? Here are a few tips to help you say ‘thanks but no thanks’ with confidence and compassion.

It can be a little awkward telling a fella that there's no chemistry there

Be kind and compassionate: If he’s a genuinely nice guy, then you owe it to him to be nice about things. Think of how you would like to be treated if the shoe was on the other foot. The first thing you should do is smile and thank him for asking you out again (this will help to ease any tension in the air).

Be completely honest: Men are a perceptive bunch, if you mumble an excuse like ‘oh, I can’t, I’m busy for the next few weeks’ he’ll peg that you’re fibbing. Instead just tell it like it is. Say that you had a great time, you think he’s lovely but you just didn’t feel the spark. Your tone of voice will show sincerity.

Don’t repeat yourself: If he starts asking you for a list of reasons why you’re not interested, don’t take the bait. Don’t feel as if you have to repeat yourself or apologise for how you feel. Simply let him take in what you have to say.

End the conversation: Again, thank him for a lovely night and say your goodbyes. If he persists and starts asking you for your phone number or demanding to know why things didn’t work out, tell him no and go on your way. You’ve already told him your genuine feelings and he should respect you enough to accept them.