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Life

07th Jul 2017

The top 10 foods you should never (ever) eat on a date

Dating and eating don't mix.

Alison Bough

Foods not to eat on date

It’s kind of ironic that dating is synonymous with eating, since the two really don’t mix well.

As if dating isn’t anxiety-inducing enough, having to content with where (and what) to eat can make it even worse. Nobody wants to be the zero-craic girl nibbling on a single lettuce leaf, yet the fear of bad breath, sauce dribbling down your chin or getting the meat sweats can leave you staring blankly at the menu for half an hour.

Here’s our top ten list of ordering faux pas that you should probably avoid on a first date…

1. Spagetti

Unless you’re a semi-professional spaghetti twiddler, this is definitely one to avoid. Even if you get away with not having to hoover up stray strings of pasta or remove ‘leftovers’ hanging from your mouth, you’ll still have to contend with ragu horns adorning your upper lip.

2. Corn on the cob

Nobody can pull this off. Nobody. Apart from the fact that you will resemble a chipmunk whilst eating it, yellow bits will stay in your teeth for years.

3. Ribs

There’s something very Henry the eighth about eating ribs, if your date’s not really your bag and you’re only in it for the food – go for it. The whole cavewoman thing could even save you having to have the whole “I just didn’t feel a spark between us” conversation.

4. Pesto

You have a little something in your teeth… No just there… Just to the left, beside your front… Oh forget it.

5. Tuna

Unless you want to be associated with a bang of fish.

6. Garlic bread

Stating the bleedin’ obvious here, just in case like.

7. Spicy food

Several risks here. The first is breath from hell, the second is smelling and sweating like a burrito factory worker, the third is the spice sweats, and finally there’s the squits gamble. Our advice? Steer WELL clear.

8. Spinach

You might assume innocuous salad leaves are safe. Sadly, no. Just when you think you’ve discreetly picked out the last piece, here comes another that was hiding at the back of your mouth.

Anything that’s hard to pronounce

Don’t make a tit of yourself in an effort to impress. Stay away from the Worcestershire sauce, gnocchi, and chipotle side of the menu.

Pricey dishes

Don’t go showy and order the lobster and Dom Perignon, but don’t go cheap and stick to the soup. Nothing says dine and ditch like “I’ll only have a starter.”