The internet is a beautiful place, but it can all go awry very quickly.
From shopping online pretending to be a rich person, to thoroughly researching serial killers and terrifying yourself in the process, it can turn sour in just a click or two.
Browsing Shops From High To Low Prices
You know in your heart that you should have clicked the ‘Low To High’ box, but you let yourself have this dream, for ONE SECOND, OK. You fill your cart with beautiful items, including three cashmere sweaters and a camel coat. It’s all a big luxurious laugh. That is until you see your total at the end of your Rich Girl fantasy exercise. It’s about half your salary, so you just close your laptop sadly.
Perusing Animal Rescue Sites
It is entirely unfeasible for any of us to rescue every dog and cat in shelters all over Ireland, but sometimes I really succeed in thinking that I could be the woman for the job. Just reading their descriptions and cute names. ‘This is Rocky, and he’s looking for his forever home”.
“I COULD BE HIS FOREVER HOME”, you think, until you remember you live in a semi-detached with barely room for one pet as it is. Devo.
(I want to help ALL OF THESE PUPPIES. via Giphy)
Stalking Strangers and Exes
It’s a cardinal sin we’ve all committed. Oh look, that guy Barry that your best friend shifted at the gaeltacht liked her profile pic. Let’s have a look. Oh…he’s obsessed with My Little Pony. In like, a sex way. This is awful, and yet you can’t look away. Before you know it, you’re on his Tumblr page dedicated to his crush on a few cartoon horses and feel like you need to take an acid bath.
Admiring Apartments That Are So Out Of Your Price Range It’s Almost Funny
Rent in Ireland, especially Dublin is exorbitant. You can either move in with ten people and sleep under the stairs with the hoover or live in a kip that has a shared toilet with the rest of the building. However, sometimes you do end up having a good browse of property websites, fantasising about the kinds of towels you would buy, and the spice rack you would upcycle to hand in the kitchen. You slide up that rent price scale just for fun and realise there are palatial apartments and houses that you aren’t currently living in. This is highly unfair.
Deep Diving On Someone’s Instagram
You can lose hours to this app. The scrolling becomes second nature to you, and sometimes you can end up in some weird spots. Like going back on Kylie Jenner’s account until you see where her transformation began. It’s even worse with people you know. Don’t lie and pretend you haven’t accidentally double tapped on someone from your old English grinds’ family photo from 2011.
(He was wearing sneakers. For sneaking. Via Imgur)
Going Incognito To Google Illnesses
Sometimes, you just want to use the internet as your personal doctor. However, there is a huge problem here. This doctor will tell you everything is cancer. Sore throat, cancer. Headache, cancer. Stubbed your toe and it bruised – yep, that’s foot cancer. Start writing your will.
Browsing Recipes You Will Never Make
When will I ever have the time to spiralise a courgette while also working full time and sleeping part-time? I need to stop kidding myself.
(Cooking is hard. via Reactiongifs)
Reading About Serial Killers On Wikipedia
So, you’re up late and your morbid curiosity has led you to watching some horrific documentary on Discovery or Alibi about gruesome murderers and serial killers. As the credits roll, you take out your phone. You think to yourself; “I just want to see what their childhood was like to turn them into such a monster.”
Cut to two hours later, you know the names of all the victims and will never sleep again as long as you live.
(Why do I do this to myself? via Giphy)
Finding Yourself In The Weird Part Of YouTube
You know the part. We all know the part. Someone explaining how the Illuminati invented contouring or something like that.
