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22nd Jun 2016

An exclusive look at the threatening letter that’s rumoured to have ended the Luas strikes

All hell would have broken Luas

Ciara Knight

Hurrah! The Luas strikes are finally a thing of the past.

An inside source leaked this letter to Her.ie shortly after the strikes were called off, and it’s believed that it was the deciding factor in both sides coming to a mutual agreement.

Dear Luas workers,

Guys, come on. Come ON. This has gone on too long.

We just want everyone to be happy and have a nice time and get around the city nice and easily. You get paid money for your job; that is better than not being paid money for your job. These strikes are giving us a pain in our heads and we’ve run out of Panadol (or any other leading brand of painkillers).

Sorry to inform you, but if you keep striking, we will have to put our foot down and the following will be likely to happen:

  • No dessert for a week
  • You can’t stay out past 8pm
  • You’re not going to Sarah’s sleepover next weekend
  • Those new runners you want are OUT OF THE QUESTION
  • No telly OR Netflix OR internet for two weeks

We’ve tried to compromise, but you’re being stubborn. Like your teacher has flagged with us in the past, you always have to get your way. Not this time, sunshine.

Think very hard about your next move, especially the repercussions for all involved.

We are not mad at you, we are just disappointed,

Mam & Dad Transdev.