Twelve Things Irish People Will Always Do In Airports

We may be leaving on holiday, returning to the homeland or emigrating forever but Irish people will always have a distinct way to travel. There are those compulsory pints, the food you might not see for two weeks or the texts and calls informing everyone where exactly you are in the airport. Here are twelve things Irish people will always do in airports.

1. Book a ridiculously early flight.

So there’s a flight at 11am but that doesn’t get in until 2pm and sure, that’s the day ruined. You won’t get in until late and you will have to go straight to the pub. Best to book that really early flight at 5.20am and figure out how you will travel to the airport during the dead of night at a later stage...

2. The Fry

No need for breakfast folks, we’ll have a great feed in the airport with every kind of pudding you can imagine.

3. The Drink

It may be 6am, but we’re on holiday. Pint of Guinness please! (God knows if we’ll be able to get a proper pint abroad once we leave.)

4. Security

There is no time! We may be seven hours early for the flight but we must get through security IMMEDIATELY and get to the duty-free area to buy goods we don’t need at a slightly cheaper price.

5. Forget your boarding pass

It was included in your checklist, so how come you can’t find the bloody thing now?

6. The “Liquids” question

There’s always one. “But why can’t I bring this ridiculously large bottle of perfume onboard with me?” Sorry, did you not see the seven thousand signs around the airport telling you the maximum amount of liquids you can bring with you?

7. The Teabags Panic Situation

“Oh my god, did you pack the Lyons/Barrys teabags? Because we’re leaving the country for two weeks and they don’t have any real tea abroad!” We would actually bring the kettle if we could...

8. “Surprise” Packing

You may be having a couple of drinks to start off the holidays, but technically the holidays started last night. Of course, you didn’t pack properly. In fact, you have no idea what is in that bag. You are really going to enjoy living in pyjamas for the entire time. When they ask you “did you pack this bag yourself?” do not panic.

9. You are wearing your entire wardrobe...

Sure, you just have one bag that you plan to bring onboard but you’re not letting Ryanair get away with making you check that in again. So just in case, you put seven layers of clothes on and bring a tiny bag. You have them now...

10. But you are wearing sandals

Yes, it’s -5 in Ireland, but you’re going to Morocco. You are going to wear those bloody sandals if it’s the last thing you do.

11. The “Sucky Sweets” Situation

Your ears will pop. You know this. You have flown on at least 35 occasions but still you find yourself running around the departures lounge looking for some Werther’s Original.

12. Tell everyone you know where you’re going

Partially to make them jealous, partially because you’re bored out of your mind, you call everyone you know in your phonebook. Even the people you don’t like. That’s the most fun.

We will never learn...