According to Twitter, Morrissey’s skills as a lyricist may not translate to fiction.
After releasing his autobiography last year to warm reception, the former Smith’s frontman has written his first novel, List of the Lost, complete with detailed sex scenes.
However, readers felt the erotic literature left a lot to be desired…
Here is the particular scene which has gotten Twitter into a frenzy, and not in a good way.
Eliza and Ezra rolled together into the one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone.
The online judging panel soon weighed in:
Like that Morrissey sex scene honestly makes me wonder what the fuck he’s been doing in bed for the past forty-odd years, you know?
— Foz Meadows (@fozmeadows) September 24, 2015
Morrissey needs diagrams for that sex scene
— Ewa S-R (@EwaSR) September 24, 2015
This is precisely why I stopped sexting with Morrissey. #BulbousSalutation
— David Jack (@DamJef) September 24, 2015
“Hello? Morrissey? Right, well… I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that EVERYONE’S talking about your book…”
— Pete Paphides (@petepaphides) September 24, 2015
That Morrissey sex scene actually makes perfect sense if you imagine they’re doing it in a tumble dryer. Trust me.
— Clarisse Loughrey (@clarisselou) September 24, 2015
morrissey’s sex scene has made me really upset
— Helena Horton (@horton_official) September 24, 2015
