The morning after the night before.
We all remember our first one night stand.
Whether it was after a drunken college night out, or after a stand-out Tinder date, it’s something that most of us have experienced at least once in our lives.
Yes, we all remember that night. However, what many of us also remember is the shame we felt, or were expected to feel, the morning after.
Heels in hand, many of us walked home the next day with our head buried in the hoody we robbed from the scene of the ‘crime’.
Being wolf-whistled or heckled, many women can relate to the feeling of being called a ‘slut’ for simply making the decision to embrace their sexuality.
So with enough judgment from others to occupy our day, why do we then lump on the burden with our own guilt?
A study into the attitudes towards one night stands proved that women are much more likely to have negative feelings after a hookup than men.
The research found that 80 percent of men wake up feeling positive after a night with a new partner, in comparison to a much lower 54 percent of women.
Researchers said most women reported to having felt “regret after being used” saying they felt “cheap” and “horrified afterward”.
Woah, ladies! Horrified? Really?
We know that a touch of morning-after regret can be natural, but nobody should be left feeling horrified or degraded.
Safe and consensual sex is, and should always be, fun.
It’s important to note that men who took part in the same study reported to feeling a sense of success after a one night stand.
So why do we need to walk home with a sense of shame?
These figures are unsurprising when you consider the general attitudes towards female sexuality.
Much of this relates back to the age-old view that women should remain “pure” until marriage.
Clean and chaste, we should proudly proclaim ourselves virgins until we marry the man who deserves to deflower us.
However, with the constant mixed-messaging that we get from the media, it’s easy to see why some of us aren’t ready to fully own our sexuality.
Magazines often claim to hold the secret to “blowing his mind in the bedroom” or say they have the “sex secrets” that will make all the difference.
While most discussions on sex usually centre around teaching women how to please the person (usually presumed to be a man) in their life, the ones that do focus on how to get our own enjoyment usually suggest it should be a secret.
It does seem quite innocent when you are just glancing at the front covers, however, this general tone of discussion encourages the backward attitude that sex is something to be ashamed of, and therefore, kept secret.
But should this attitude have a place in modern society?
Answer – hell no!
Women who pursue relationships are dubbed “needy”, while those who prefer to remain unattached yet sexually satisfied are deemed “sluts”.
Enough with the labeling. Enough with the insults. Enough with the constant judgment.
Embrace your sexuality and turn that walk of shame into a stride of pride.
Feature image: Instagram.
