We Reveal Our Shameful Addiction to Ice Loves Coco

Reality television has always been my forte. On Tuesdays, I tune into My Strange Addictions and watch people who are obsessed with dressing like babies, eating wallpaper and bathing in bleach. Both Jersey and Geordie Shore are always Sky Plus-ed and although there is something creepy about watching real people ‘tash on’, I’m still a faithful fan. I have a compulsion to wallow in the misery of knocked up teenagers on MTV’s 16 and Pregnant and I am so there when Kourtney and Kim take on New York. And I know I am not the only one who watches Embarrassing Bodies for a confidence boost! At least I can take comfort in the fact that I don’t have a huge wart that is the size of my head or have to be told I have a nipple on my face live on Channel 4! I’m not ashamed of my love for mind-numbing reality TV. In fact, I embrace it!

However, I have developed a powerful addiction to the show that is surely the lowest of the low in the world of reality television. I think men’s eyes actually melt if forced to watch it. I’ll tell you. I’m addicted to Ice loves Coco.

Unfamiliar? Of course you are! The show portrays the every day lives of 90’s Rapper and Law & Order SVU actor Ice-T and his booby wife Nicole ‘Coco’ Austin as they ‘struggle’ to find a new house, bring their bulldog Spartacus to a doggie spa and find the right tacky wedding outfits. I haven’t mentioned that Coco has a huge arse, which is coincidently a central theme of this programme. Season One actually ended with Coco delivering her sister’s baby. Which really means she stood around for a few hours, cried and cut the cord. The show also features visits from Ice’s son, creatively nicknamed ‘Little Ice’.

I can’t put my finger what is so enthralling about this programme that I look forward to it more than all the others. I think it is because their relationship is so odd. The twenty-one year age gap mystifies me but their decade long relationship is uncharacteristically lengthy for people in the biz. Ice’s one-liners really make the show and his dependency on Cool-Aid is seriously odd. Anyway, I am deeply impatient for Season Three and I am getting my fix by following the pair on Twitter.

A few weeks ago I watched them put sunscreen on their dog’s private parts in preparation for an Arizona pool visit. Is there something wrong with me?