What It's Really Like... To Be A Sex Expert 7 years ago

What It's Really Like... To Be A Sex Expert

Alix Fox is a magazine journalist and a sex and relationships expert with Durex.

Her work involves investigating and writing about all sorts of sex-related topics, from the mild to the wild and the romantic to the raunchy.

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Tell us a little about what you do...

My job is all about educating and advising people on how to make their love lives more satisfying and letting them know about Durex’s fantastic products, like their revolutionary Real Feel condoms. They’re made of an advanced next-generation material called polyisoprene, designed to keep you safe while feeling almost like you’re not using a condom at all. I’ve made it my mission to try to make more women feel ‘condom confident', empowered about asking to use condoms, savvy about how to use them properly and clued up about protecting themselves.

How did you get to your current position?

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I started out writing for magazines a decade ago and soon found I that the articles I found most intriguing to research were those that examined people’s sex lives. I always feel extremely honoured when people are willing to open up to me about such a private topic. A few high-profile reports I published about fetishes caught the eye of the team at Men’s Fitness, who asked me to pen a sex advice column for them. After that, things really took off and Durex asked me if I’d join their team.

What is your typical working day?

No two days are the same in my job! This week, my tasks included writing a piece for Grazia magazine on ladies who like to be in charge in the bedroom. I nicknamed them the ‘Christina Greys’, the female versions of a certain famous character... and helping to launch Durex’s newest project, #50GamesToPlay.

This is a collection of really accessible, easy games that couples can enjoy, which helps them to share their fantasies without being embarrassed, and try new and exciting things in ways that are natural and tonnes of fun. You can take a look yourself and download the booklet for free at http://50gamestoplay.durex.com/.

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What are the biggest challenges you face in your career?

I have a tendency to take on too much, because I’m so passionate and enthusiastic about what I do. I end up frequently working until very late at night. My eyebags are the size of suitcases!

What are the most rewarding aspects?

When I’m able to give people advice that really changes their lives for the better. Recently, Durex held a big party in Dublin to celebrate #50GamesToPlay and we had people testing out some of the games. We were also chatting about how simple tricks like taking a moment to gaze into each other’s eyes and breathe in time together can have a surprisingly strong effect on how deeply connected lovers can feel. At the end of the evening, one guest approached me to discreetly ask a few questions about a sexual issue they were having. I won’t reveal what it was, to preserve their confidentiality, but they looked so happy to have found someone who understood their predicament and was able to help. That felt wonderful.

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What is the best piece of advice that you’ve been given?

One of the most useful things I was told recently was that silicone-based lubricants double up as hair serum! Not the most profound piece of advice, perhaps, but it saved me from the world’s worst bad barnet day recently when I was stick by a terrible case of the frizzies! Ha!

What has been the one ‘pinch me’ moment of your career so far?

Getting an email asking me to contribute to an article in Vogue. That was as mind-blowing as a pair of TNT earmuffs!

What do you think is the biggest misconception about what you do?

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That I must be into every freaky fetish I write about. I’m very open-minded and so long as no-one is getting hurt, I don’t have a problem with the majority of weird and wonderful things that people like to get up to. However, just because I find something fascinating to investigate doesn’t necessarily mean I’m a fan of it myself.

What is the biggest mistake that you think people in your chosen sector make?

I’ve seen some ‘sexperts’ be lured by money into endorsing products that actually aren’t very good. I’m proud to work with Durex because I know everything they produce has been really well researched and made to the highest standards.

Describe what you want to achieve in your career with one sentence.

To go to my bed every night knowing I’ve helped other people have a brilliant time in theirs.