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19th Sep 2017

Woman’s screenshots from ex-husband show reality of domestic abuse

"He 'set traps' for me."

Jade Hayden

A woman has shared her domestic abuse story online through a series of screenshots.

Over the course of her marriage, Imgur user ‘krissykross’ would frequently receive messages from her then-husband Adam.

He would ask where she was, what she was doing, and who she was with.

He would refuse to believe her when she said she was spending the night with a friend, or when a particular co-worker wasn’t working the same shift as her.

He would demand that she send him photos to prove that she was in her mother’s house.

Krissykross took to Imgur to share the screenshots that defined her abusive marriage, and to explain how she finally found the courage to leave.

domestic abuse

Krissykross said she would receive texts like these regularly when she was working her shift and did not have access to her phone.

She would also receive messages demanding to know whether certain male co-workers were working the same shift as her.

Adam would say he was “trying to be nice.”

domestic abuse

Krissykross said that her ex-husband would “set traps” to see if she was going to come home.

domestic abuse

Krissykross sees her mother once every couple of years.

On one occasion, she told Adam that her mom “joked” about the bruise on her arm from where he had bit her “leaving visible teeth marks.”

“The bruise was so bad it hung around for almost a month. Long enough for a visit to my mothers and to still be photographed by NCIS when I finally turned him several weeks later.”

domestic abuse

Krissykross finishes her post by saying that her ex-husband was physically, emotionally, and sexually abusive towards her.

She said that he punched her in the face when she told him she wanted to go out for her birthday.

When she tried to go to the police, he followed her. When she talked to his parents about him, she was told that this behaviour was “normal in a young marriage.”

Krissykross said she found the courage to leave Adam when he hurt her dog and kitten.

“While he was at work I packed a bag, my pets, and their food and hid at a coworker’s house and called NCIS and the police. I spent hours getting bruises photographed, giving my statement, waiting while they put him on restriction.

He was charged with a handful of misdemeanors and two felonies (…) I still had to listen to several people testify how great of a person he was- a whole group on his side while I sat there with one friend and my lawyer.”

She said that she saved the messages to remind herself how far she had come in the three years since she left Adam.

She also included a TL;DR saying: “OP’s ex-husband was a superdick and she came out pretty alright anyway.”

Fair play, Krissykross.

domestic abuse

While this instance of domestic abuse included physical and emotional abuse, many stories do not.

Domestic violence can also be insidious and coercive, leaving victims feeling like they are trapped in a situation they can’t get out of.

On their website, Women’s Aid provide a list of domestic abuse warning signs which include your partner losing their temper over minor things, being afraid of your partner, and being repeatedly undermined by your partner in public.

The group also give information on what to do if you are concerned about your partner’s behaviour.

A list of Women’s Aid’s services can be found here.