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28th Oct 2015

Woman Who Was The Subject Of “Why I Don’t Go Down On Girls” Article Fights Back

Is this the most public post-breakup mud slinging ever?!

Megan Cassidy

Not all breakups are amicable, and there will inevitably be some terse words exchanged in the aftermath…

However, it’s not often that a relationship’s dirty laundry is aired quite so publicly as this.

When Tab author William Lloyd wrote the piece, ‘Why I Don’t Go Down on Girls’, women all over the world were outraged.

diva

But none as much as Rhianna Kemi, his girlfriend and the subject of the piece.

Now, she has hit back publicly at Lloyd, penning an open letter to him in the Huffington Post, defending herself against some of his accusations.

She wrote: “He claimed that after finally finding someone, he “never went down on her”. This girl is me.

‘The story ends with his going down for the first (and last) time, traumatised as she “ejaculated all over my face”.

oh no

“Alright, OK. One point to get out the way: the facts are simply not true. I can safely confirm that he went down on me several times during our relationship. In fact, he would ask to go down and I would often politely decline.

“Why did I say no? Because, to be honest, it just didn’t feel that good.”

Ouch. 

“I waited for a long time and when the moment finally happened, I felt less pleasured and more awkward.”

 

“It is an art, my friends. I highly doubt that you can make a girl come using your tongue the first time you try it. I’ve seen porn and trust me, it really isn’t as easy as they make it look to make a girl ‘arch and shiver’.”

Yikes. We’re sweating for him. 

“I didn’t enjoy him licking me out and he couldn’t understand why. The problem was that I felt too aware of myself and my surroundings. I felt too aware of the head at my hips.

“You can’t just place your tongue ‘down there’ and expect magic to happen, as films and porn have led us to believe. A lot of it is in the mind. To use your tongue to make a girl scream, you’ve got to make her forget herself.”

truth gif

She finished with a strong message of advice:

“The real reason you don’t want to go down anymore isn’t because you made a girl come and it was unpleasant. It’s because you are scared of the awkward silence of the girl who isn’t enjoying it.

If licking out is gross for you, you are doing it wrong.”

So…there.