7 crucial things I learned about myself after finally moving out of my parents' gaff
I moved out recently.
Unsurprisingly, it's been good.
This wasn't some sort of I'm-still-in-college-and-living-with-my-mates-but-will-be-home-every-other-day-so-you-can-do-my-washing move.
This was a I'm-pretty-far-away-now-and-paying-lots-of-rent-and-need-to-buy-my-own-liquitabs move.
My mam and dad are sound, but there comes a time in every person's life when they must get over themselves, spend a solid eight hours/days on Daft.ie, and become willing to give away two thirds of their wages every month.
This point came for me at the end of 2018 when I boldly decided that I simply couldn't spend my entire life on Dublin Bus anymore - and that I was willing to do anything (anything) to make that happen.
It did and, subsequently, I have learned a lot of things about myself due to that move.
This is them.
1. It is expensive to be warm
Once upon a time, I entered my home and I was warm. I did not need to purchase oil. I did not need to worry about bleeding the radiators. I not require the knowledge or effort to be concerned about any of these things.
Life is different now.
I will never complain about somebody complaining about leaving the windows open in work ever again.
2. Dates are far more fun when you don't have to say goodbye at the bus stop
3. Chill is possible, and I can in fact have it
Prior to moving out I had no chill. None.
Every day was a bitter, anger-fuelled struggle, as I emerged from public transport sweating, stressed, and absolutely ready to murder every single person who happened to flag down the bus.
The majority of my frustrations were borne out of having to undertake a violent three hour commute every day and then suddenly, just like that, it was done. It was over.
I'll never take another bus again. I will walk myself into the grave.
And I will relish it.
4. Going to the shop without having to tell anybody where I'm going is a novelty I will never get used to
"Where are you going, love?"
"What for, love?"
"To distract my mind from the monotony of existence by aimlessly browsing supermarket aisles in the hope that the vague presence of other people will be enough to numb this constant heaviness in my chest."
5. Cooking excessive portions of food is my passion
If I had managed to move out two years ago, I would have either starved or lived exclusively on a diet of frozen garlic bread and stir-in Dolmio pasta.
Over time though I realised that mushrooms work well in any dish, cheese is an entirely acceptable substitute for any meat, and coconut oil is my best friend.
Cooking stupid amounts of food to fill an excessive amount of tupperware boxes is my kink now - and I will not be shamed.
6. I now spend all my money on AA batteries for fairy lights
Bad day? Fairy lights.
Bedroom look somewhat uninviting? Fairy lights.
Sick of the futility of existence? Fairly lights.
7. Going to IKEA alone on a Sunday is a mistake
I will have more respect for myself in future.