With Christmas fast approaching, half the country will soon be heading for the shops, picking up gifts and goodies from miniscule budgets to money-no-object. For a select few, though, the euphoria that comes with a spree is a year round joy. Here are ten of the things only a true shopaholic will understand.
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The tactics
The local Penneys gets the biggest delivery on a Tuesday, ergo that’s the best morning to find the most covetable bargains before they’re all sold out. And who shops on a Tuesday morning? No one. You have the place to yourself. SORTED.
There is no such thing as “just one”
Other people you know can quite literally go into town, walk into a single shop, purchase a single item and go home. You’re not sure what this witchcraft is, but you don’t like it.
Buying something you love twice is a smart move
If you’ve been searching for the perfect black flats for weeks and you finally come across a comfy, cosy pair to see you through winter, it makes perfect sense to you to buy a second pair. You’ll wear through these eventually, so why not account for it now and reward future you with a pair of shoes that are simply biding their time.
Fashionable friends can be worth their weight in gold
This applies to store workers and more specifically those who get discounts. Building up a relationship with a store manager can save you a fortune, from liberally applied discounts for loyal customers to sneaky hints to put that jacket on hold instead of buying today, it’s going in to the half price sale on Monday.
Your wardrobe doubles as interior design
That amazing cigar-box handbag you found in New York eight years ago? In between special occasion outings, it’s hanging on your wall just like the work of art it is. Shoes on shelves, jewelery around the mirror – you like your money where you can see it.
Money may not buy you happiness
But try telling that to the owner of a Mulberry.
You know your credit card numbers off by heart
PPS number? Not a clue. Mastercard and Visa, however, you can recite in the same way you recited your 5 times tables in primary school. Including expiry dates and security key. You never know when a bargain might appear online; one must be prepared.
Your best work is done solo
Yes you’re all on board for a girls’ day out but that’s a mere amble in comparison to the endurance tests you train for. The most successful shopping is done when you’re solo, eagle-eyed and ready to cover ground without anyone tagging along to drag you down.
Your favourite word is sale
Christmas isn’t Christmas until you’ve collected your vouchers and waved goodbye to the family on St. Stephen’s morning for a ten-hour spree, possibly with a handful of Roses in your bag for emergency sustenance.
Do you even lift?
It is physically possible for you to carry more than your own bodyweight back to the car. You’ll find the strength somewhere for the things you love.
It’s all ok though. If you’re ever in doubt – remember this.
