‘Is it okay if I don’t invite all of my family to my wedding?’

Trying to finalise your wedding guest list is not easy

Intimate weddings may be becoming more and more popular, but the pressure to invite your entire family can burden a lot of couples.

We sat down with wedding expert Sara Kennedy to discuss the famous guest list debacle.

With 20-plus years of experience in the industry, the wedding expert has the best advice for anyone struggling with who to invite to their big day.

Sara told Her.ie, "The beauty that came out of Covid was that people had to get really restrictive on who they could and couldn't invite. It introduced a narrative that not everybody is going to get an invite to your wedding.

"You can have a small, intimate wedding, and your relatives will understand that," she said.

Sara believes the days of inviting all your neighbours and the postman to your wedding are long gone.

"The days of this pressure to have a big wedding has really alleviated so it isn't unusual for a whole family not to be invited anymore.

"When it comes to the etiquette around your invitations, first of all, invite who you want but bear in mind that this is just one day out of a period of your life and you may have to see other people after your wedding day.

"It's important that you handle everything with sensitivity," Sara said.

How to cut the guest list with sensitivity?

"You can put a boundary in place and only invite aunts and uncles, or whatever the group may be. I've also seen couples who don't invite the partners of their guests to the wedding. All of the cousins might get singular invites but no plus ones."

"You may also have a dynamic in your family where you're close to one side but not the other. People have gone ahead and invited guests based on that. Just because they're family doesn't mean that you know them," she pointed out.

With the intimate wedding trend rising, Sara said people aren't getting as offended if they're not invited.

"So many couples are now opting for intimate weddings, so it isn't unusual not to get an invite. I don't think as many people are getting their knickers in a twist about it.

"I see so many who are delighted not to get an invite at times because of the financial burden that comes with it," she added.

She stressed that all couples should focus on how they feel about the guest list. It is your big day after all and you should invite people who you love and enjoy being around.

"When it comes down to it, set a very clear guidance about not inviting everyone. Otherwise, you're picking a cousin from here, a person from there, and things can get messy.

"It's also mainly about who you're close to and what sits right with you."