Meghan Markle may look like she lives a charmed existence but that wasn't always the case.

A personal essay that Meghan wrote a few years back to mark her 33rd birthday sheds light on her struggles while growing up. The now-duchess admitted that she wasn't comfortable in her own skin for a long time and found it difficult to fit in. "My 20s were brutal – a constant battle with myself, judging my weight, my style, my desire to be as cool/as hip/as smart/as ‘whatever’ as everyone else," she wrote in a 2014 post on her now-defunct blog The Tig. “My teens were even worse – grappling with how to fit in, and what that even meant. “My high school had cliques: the black girls and white girls, the Filipino and the Latina girls. Being biracial, I fell somewhere in between." Meghan said she did her best to stay busy at school so she wouldn't have to eat lunch on her own. "So everyday during lunch, I busied myself with meetings - French club, student body, whatever one could possibly do between noon and 1pm - I was there. “Not so that I was more involved, but so that I wouldn’t have to eat alone.” Concluding, she said that she'd finally accepted herself and was happy in her 30s. "So for my birthday, here’s what I would like as a gift: I want you to be kind to yourself. I want you to challenge yourself. “I want you to stop gossiping, to try a food that scares you, to buy a coffee for someone just because, to tell someone you love them… and then to tell yourself right back. “I want you to find your happiness. I did. And it’s never felt so good. I am enough." Words to live by.