8 things that happen in EVERY Irish household on Christmas Day
Is there anything that even remotely compares to Christmas Day in Ireland?
The one day you have the entire family off work, with nothing to do but sit around and eat with each other yet... it leads to bleedin' PANDEMONIUM.
If your family leads a pleasant, peaceful Christmas Day without bursts of love followed by the breaking of necks followed by more love then, my friend, you are very rare.
Because the traditional Christmas Day in Ireland involves a LOT of panic, a haaaape of screaming, moments of laughter, a bit of crying and a whole lot of love.
And just so you're aware that your family isn't the only ones having a sheer meltdown today, here are 8 things we can all relate to on Christmas Day.
1. We wake up at crazy o'clock to open gifts
I'm 25-years-old. I can open my gifts when I damn please but yet, I set my alarm for the crack of dawn to run down to the tree and see what Santa has left me.
2. There's PANIC to make it to mass
Your mother is bellowing up the stairs, your father is sitting patiently in the car, we won't get the GOOD SEATS IN MASS IF YOU DON'T HURRY THE F*CK UP!
3. Gordon Ramsay is filming Kitchen Nightmares in your gaff
This is the only explanation for what's going on. There are 15 pots cooking at the one time, cream getting whipped by your nan in one corner, your sister dishing out cutlery in the other, your mam rushing everyone around like a drill Sargent shouting through a megaphone and you're just standing there... scared to move for fear you'll be spotted.
4. "SO NICE"
Unreal. Literally, so tasty. No, it's not dry at ALL. For sure the best year yet. I give you the bank of compliments for the dinner. Watch your words or the Christmas puddin' won't be the only thing getting flambéed.
5. Turn on the six one.
It's funny how our parents forget to watch the news Monday to Friday but oh, on Christmas Day don't they become the lil' current affairs correspondents.
6. The deck of cards makes its annual appearance
It wouldn't be Christmas Day without an aul game of Seven or a traditional board game.
7. Your mother is still in the kitchen... she's now prepping the TAE.
You're still full from dinner? NONSENSE, now aaaate the turkey sangadge like a good girleen.
8. You have an explosive argument with your sibling that's then quickly resolved
It's not Christmas if you're not kicking each other's heads off, right?