The Gilmore Girls is set to return to Netflix and obvi this is like the best news ever. Of course saying that the Gilmore Girls is returning suggests that they left at some point. And sure maybe they left the TV schedule for some people but not for us true Gilmores. For us, they never went away. I have been watching the whole series on a loop pretty much since 2002.
Over the years, my love for the show has gradually morphed into addiction. It has become more like the intense love that we have for our families; it’s unconditional but at the same time allows for us to hate them just a little bit, it’s a rage-love that, as we all know, is far more potent than love-love. So here’s 10 things I cannot forgive the Gilmore Girls for…
Stealing my life
Been continuously watching for 13 years now. I’m tired.
This LIE: Eat junk food and you will look like the Lorelais
They were never really eating. They were always being served an insanely good burger at Luke’s and then heading off a few seconds later. Or just breaking the Pop Tarts into tiny little pieces. Or else just having, like, ONE CHIP.
Feeling conflicted because as much as I love them, The Lorelais were terrible people
I’m just gonna say it, as much as I am addicted to them they did bad stuff: Jilting, adultery, fat-shaming ballerinas. Oh f*ck it, we still love them.
Taking Dave Rygalski away
I had a major thing for Dave Rygalski (thank God for the OC, b*tch).
Not showing us more of Kirk’s experimental films, and Kirk’s compellingly freaky body, and his interpretive dance, and his mum…
Kirk FOREVER.
Paris needed her OWN show
Including the extended version of her Harvard Interview which allegedly included this Paris gold: “This dovetails nicely to my feelings on population control.”
Not doing more flashback episodes
We loved 80s Emily. Any Emily really…
Never going to Al’s Pancake World
I just wanted to see it.
The men were lame. FACT
Jason, anybody? Max Medina, bleh. Dean – aghhhh the absolute PITS.
Hep Alien never released an album
AAAAAAANNNNND Lane stayed home from touring because of the babies. I know this was pre-Lean In but c’mon!
Rory’s jeans
In fact, Rory’s entire wardrobe, it’s not like she had to go all Pretty Little Liars on it, but even Lane knew how to dress.
Never holding another annual Star’s Hollow Dance Marathon?
Unforgivable.
NOT. Dating. Marty.
How could you NOT date Naked Guy? Once more proving (as if the jeans were not enough) that Rory is a woman of questionable taste.
Our coffee addiction
We have to blame someone…
Just giving us a few tantalising glimpses of Paris’ life coach Terrance
We wanted more Terrence. We NEEDED more Terrance. Perhaps he’s still in court-ordered rehab. I really need to stop watching Gilmore Girls.
April
It feels wrong to hate a little girl, but I do. There I said it: F*ck you April.
Series 7
In its entirety. It made us feel like this…
