Time to burn off those excess tins of roses.
If you, like us are up to the GILLS in sweets and chocolate, having eaten your body weight in sugar the past three weeks, then you’ll know the struggle of trying to start the whole “new year new me” fad… especially when you can barely imagine fitting into the bathtub let alone your gym pants.
So, to help make the transition from sweets to sweat that little bit easier, we here in Her had quite a laugh coming up with sex positions that represent the chocolate bars we overindulged on this Christmas.
Remember people burn on average between 50-100 calories in just one steamy sex session, so it’s time to swap your chocolate for some good old-fashioned lovin’ and burn off those excess milseáin.
So for a laugh, we demand that whatever bar you gorged on (below) is the sex position you need to try tonight. So grab that partner and buckle up!
Picnic
If this was your bar of choice over winter, well then, like any good picnic, it needs to happen outdoors in a magical setting, so grab the picnic basket and maybe a rain jacket, it’s outdoor sex for you.
Lion Bar
Time to get creative, this one involves some dress up. The more out there, the better.
Boost
Pep in your step? Boost bars are great for a bit of energy when you’re hitting a slump, but boost is also a word described to lift someone up… yep, you called it, this chocolate bar is sex standing up.
Fudge
They might have left the Cadbury’s selection boxes, but if you were loving fudge this Christmas, get ready because this chocolate bar only resembles one sex position, yep, anal.
Toblerone
Masturbating in front of your partner is the sex version of eating a Toblerone, yep, we never thought we would actually write that.
After Eight
Lights out for this one! Time to switch them off and leave your other senses do all the work.
Dairy Milk Whole Nut
It’s time to 69. Need some help trying to accomplish this position? Read all here.
Time Out
And finally, the good ole’ missionary position before calling it a Time Out and getting some sleep.
If we have missed your favourite chocolate bar this festive season, go wild and try one of ours. Change is always good.
