It’s Christmas Day.
By now, you’ve probably already eaten your weight in carbohydrates, drank a full bottle of Baileys, and argued with an elderly relative about the eighth amendment.
Standard enough day.
If the above isn’t satisfying you entertainment wise though, don’t worry because the television exists and there are loads of things on there too to keep you busy throughout the day and night.
This is them.
The Jungle Book – BBC 1 – 3.10pm
No, this isn’t the OG Jungle Book from way back in 1967, it’s the live action version but it’s the next best thing so we’ll go with it.
It may not be as traditionally iconic, but it’s got Ben Kingsley playing a panther, Idris Elba playing a tiger, and Scarlett Johansson playing a snake, so it’s probably worth a look.
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets – RTE2 – 3.40pm
The second best Harry Potter of the franchise.
Find out when the rest of them are on over the festive period here.
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory – RTE2 – 6.10pm
Think you don’t fancy Gene Wilder?
Think again because once you watch him in Willy Wonka after you’ve got a few Baileys into you, you’ll think differently.
The modern day remake has got nothing on this bad boy. It was crap even before Johnny Depp became problematic.
Star Wars: the Force Awakens – RTE1 – 6.50pm
A female protagonist?
Who’d have thought it?
Emmerdale – Virgin Media One – 7.15pm
It’s all kicking off in the Dales this Christmas as Marlon gets sprung a surprise wedding – and literally collapses with the shock.
Which is actually fair enough yeah.
Apparently, the whole storyline is a bit of craic though so we can probably go ahead and assume that Marlon goes ahead with whatever’s being asked of him.
Call The Midwife Christmas special – BBC 1 – 7.45pm
Call The Midwife‘s got everything you could possibly want from a wholesome festive special: a nativity play, a homecoming, and a load of women giving birth.
What better way to spend Christmas evening?
Certainly better than the one other BBC Christmas special on this list anyway…
The Great Christmas Bake Off – Channel 4 – 8.00pm
Like regular Bake Off but with festive treats, probably.
Liam and Flo from 2017, and Jane and Andrew from 2016, battle it out making loads of different Christmassy bits in a bid to be crowned the Christmas Star Baker.
Adorable.
Coronation Street – Virgin Media One – 8.15pm
Sally’s in prison, Tim’s been unfaithful, and Sophie’s fairly disgusted with the whole scenario.
In true Corrie style, Christmas Day is going to have absolutely zero chill for all them folk living on the cobbles, so don’t expect it to.
First Dates at Christmas – Channel 4 – 9.15pm
Feel even worse about the fact that you’re alone on Christmas by watching this programme about people finding love.
Mrs Brown’s Boys Christmas special – BBC 1 – 10.15pm
Look lads, people love Mrs Brown’s Boys, but we’re not buying it.
Maybe in 20 years time when television stations broadcast nothing but mind-numbing static and our primary entertainment is sourced from 30 second YouTube clips we’ll be glad of Mrs Brown and her boys.
But right now, the obsession is unwarranted… and yet, half the country will still be tuning in.
Grand.
Deadpool – RTE2 – 11.00pm
Bit of Ryan Reynolds to round off the day?
May as well.
