The hipster male can be an attractive prospect to anyone who enjoys a well-brewed coffee, asymmetrical hairstyles, a lot of care and attention given to accessories and, of course, tattoos.
However, be aware there are a number of pitfalls to shifting a hipster….
Beard chaff
It’s an obvious one but painful nonetheless. They’ve got a beard, and we’ve got a raw, red beard shaped rash.
Their jeans are skinnier than ours
When skinny jeans came in, the men were presented with an undressing mare of epic proportions: how to free their woman from these chastity jeans in one sexy manoeuvre?
Finally, they copped that pulling from the ankles was the only option. Now that their jeans are even tighter than ours, the pre-sex undressing is more difficult than ever with each person engaged in an unsightly battle with their own pants.
All beverages must be consumed from jars
It’s becoming wearisome, isn’t it? Glasses and cups were invented for a reason; they purvey liquids perfectly, why the need to mess with that?
Attending his gigs
You will need to cultivate a sincere love of his ironic Balkan gypsy folk ukelele band. And tolerate his grating, meticulously composed social media posts.
Uncomfortable living quarters
Sex on a bed made of salvaged pallets, red bricks and old trombone parts is not comfortable. Ditto a couch that was once a penny farthing bicycle.
The man bun. That is all.
*sob*
Makes us feel like a basic bitch for liking Taylor Swift
Balkan gypsy folk bands are not for everyone okay? This doesn’t mean we’re uncultured; I have watched movies with subtitles, alright? Back off.
He’s better at yoga than us
AND he looks better in yoga pants than we do. This is hard on our self-esteem.
His friends are too cool for school
Just because we don’t talk in 90s sitcom quotes, or know “the early stuff” or adore knitted jumpers that feature wolves howling on an intergalactic moonscape or LOOOOVE Lana Del Rey does NOT mean that we are lame. *Draws breath*
His penis probably has a whimsical moustache
Or at the very least some thick spectacles…
Also, sidenote: Beards can be pretty disgusting
See below…
