“It’s the most wonderful time of the year…”
No, not Christmas. Your birthday. The annual celebration of you. At least until you’re 21 or so. Past that landmark, for most of us, the anniversary of our day of birth can bring up some mixed emotions. Yes, there’s a party and presents… but is there also a grey hair and a wrinkle? This is not good.
Here are ten things we all go through on that special day…
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The Evaluation
It’s happening in a few weeks. You only have 21 days of being 21/25/30/33/insert-age-here left, but what have you ACHIEVED with your year on the planet? How far in advance do you have to book a skydive?
The Fob-Off
“Oh, I don’t really want to do anything. I’ll have a glass of wine at home, I can’t be dealing with parties – I’m too old for that!”
The Persuasion
You want to go out and be made a little fuss of, but unless you’re one of those “It’s my 27th birthday so we’re all planning a weekend away six months in advance and it will cost you a week’s wages” friends (we all have one), then you’ll politely wait for your friends to insist on toasting you. Well, ok so.
The Mortification
Is there anything more embarrassing than the entire office trooping down to your desk, corner shop sponge cake in hand and half-heartedly warbling “Happy Birthday” for the fifth time that same month? That awkward silence after you blow out the candles is the worst. The absolute worst.
The Dress Dilemma
Even if you usually couldn’t care less what you wear for a night out, chances are you’ll have a mini wardrobe panic ahead of this night. Everyone’s going to make you get in pictures so they can share a social media snap with the birthday girl.
The Comparison
On the day, it’s customary to look back at where you were for all your previous birthdays (both in a physical and psychological sense). This is fine, but try not to think about it at 3am – this has been known to lead to a drunken phone call to the ex. Not good. Not good at all.
The Interrogation
Step forward mammy! When she was your age she had a ring on her finger, a nice plot of land with dad and a baby you clinging to her ankles. You’re not getting any younger you know. A career is all well and good but when are you going to start thinking about your future, huh?
The Splurge
I deserve this. I’ve earned it. Come Saturday I’ll be in Brown Thomas buying myself the bag/shoes/dress I’ve been eyeing up for six months and I’m going to be fan-feckin-tastic. This will go one of two ways. You’ll buy it, and be consumed by guilt about the cost for the next six months, or you’ll chicken out and come home with 23 bags of stuff from Penneys instead. Same splurge, less guilt.
The Social Situation
Want to feel popular? Let your birthday be displayed on Facebook. Cue a full day of people you met once in a nightclub bathroom wishing you a “magical year filled with love and luck!” Memes and videos will feature heavily too, and you’ll have at least one friend who’ll create a collage of all your good times together. Funnily enough, all the pictures are great ones of her….
The Planning.
Ok brain. THIS is our year. I know we say this every year, but this time I mean it. We’re saving enough for a house deposit. We’re booking a trip to Africa. We’re learning to play the guitar.
Where’s the number for that skydive guy?
