Sure, while we don’t necessarily envy the back pain our larger breasted sister have to induce, but we feel it’s appropriate to clarify that life as a member of the itty bitty titty committee isn’t all gravy either.
There are certain trials and tribulations only the tiny titted community can relate to and at this time of the year they seem to become more abundantly obvious.
Here are the top ten.
Chicken fillets are more than a meal
During the terribly traumatic teen years we spent ages stuffing over sized bras with gel filled fillets in the hope that we could create some sort of semblance to lady humps. We lived in fear that a jump or bump would expose our hollow chest pockets.
The audible thud
Later in the college years when things got steamer, there was always that highly terrifying moment of passion when the LADEN brassiere was removed and thrown to the floor with an audible thud. It became hard to distinguish between the sound of the bra denting the floor and the sound of your lover’s fallen hopes and dreams.
Disregard any strapless options
Unless you were committed to spending the day looking like you were in tribute to the chicken dance. Yanking up your top becomes socially acceptable but still a nuisance.
They disappear lying down
Where the larger bosomed babes can hold a pencil between their breasticles, I can confirm that I can balance a cup of tea on my chest whilst horizontal. NBD.
Smuggling raisins
When its cold, when you’re excited, when a slight gust of wind blows – prepare yourself for the “heh, are you smuggling raisins there?”
A bra is pretty much just a front pocket
Bras are pretty much just for decoration and hey at the expense of them they might as well have some practical usage.
Children will possibly be malnourished
There is that underlying fear that any future children may in fact be malnourished due to the lack of nutrients produced by your tiny milk bags.
“More than a handful is a waste”
The only uttering of solidarity from your bigger boobed counter parts is a quote from Paris Hilton. That’s reassuring.
The weight of a padded bikini
Putting aside the general awful look, feel and experience of a padded bikini, the real burden of these terrors is their ability to retain half the ocean. While everyone else exits the pool and dries instantly, you saunter around Costa del Hassle with wet patches growing on your playsuit.
You’d take contouring advice from the cast of RuPauls Drag Race
There is no shame coveting the cleavage of an experienced contouring artist. If ever you were to bump into one of the cast it would be beneficial to unearth their secrets to share with your concave chested comrades.
