10 Things… The Female Problems That Men Will Never, Ever Experience

There’s an old saying that goes along the lines of ‘men are from Mars and women are from Veus.’ It sounds like a cliché but in many respects it’s actually kind of true.

Us womenfolk come from a completely different planet than members of the opposite sex and as such, we have dozens of problems that are distinctly female. We have to cope with certain issues that men will never, ever face (because let’s be honest – how many men will really understand the niggling pain of a bra that’s far too small?).

Here are some of the problems that the sisterhood tackles on a daily basis that the men in our lives will never experience and/or understand.

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Period pains: Yes, they do hurt that bad and no, we're not overreacting.

1. Period pains: There is nothing worse than when you’re rolling around on the sofa in absolute agony and he looks at you with that sympathetic expression that has a tinge of ‘it-can’t-be-that-bad’ about it. Yes, it is agony and no, we’re not being overly dramatic about it. Keep your comments to yourself and just pass the chocolate, thanks.

2. Shopping for jeans: Every woman knows that when you find a brand of jeans that fits you perfectly you should immediately buy at least six pairs. Why? Because jean shopping is awful and full of emotional turmoil. Men will never understand how annoying it is to try on a multitude of jeans in a multitude of shops and to be a different size in every single one.

3. Bra Tiredness: Bras are a necessity of life and we accept that, but wearing one can be tiring. Our boobs are sensitive things and it gets uncomfortable when you have them restrained for hours at a time. Men will never get the sheer relief you experience when you arrive home from work and take that sucker off. There’s nothing like de-bra-ing yourself after a hard day at the office!

We're so happy, wait, actually we're a bit said... nope, we're angry now!

4. Mood swings: One minute you’re totally fine, the next you’re super angry aout something that doesn’t even matter and then you’re in tears. Dear men of the world, we’re aware that sometimes we seem a little unstable but please understand that at least once a month we just need a good cry/rant. Let us get it out of our systems and we’ll be grand.

5. Soap anxieties: When you follow the soaps, you find yourself getting overly attached to the storyline. You worry about the characters, you get p***ed off if your favourite couple has a fight and if there’s a major disaster, you fret over the outcome. While himself thinks that it’s stupid television, you’re in mourning because someone has gotten killed by a tornado in Home and Away. Again.

6. Clothing pressures: When a man has decided what he wants to wear for the day, wild horses couldn’t make him change his mind. However, when you’re a woman the smallest comment can completely wreck your sartorial choices. All it takes is a ‘oh, you’re wearing that dress?’ from your mammy or a frantic phone call from your BFF going ‘all the girls are going dressy. DRESSY!’ to send you back upstairs to get changed for the sixth time in the space of an hour.  

Why do we always lose the expensive make-up first?! 

7. The loss economy that is cosmetics: You buy an expensive lipstick that costs at least €20. You lose it on a night out. You replace the lipstick with a cheaper one. You lose that too one day when you’re in work. Basically you end up replacing the same tube of lipstick/mascara/foundation over and over and over again until you’ve spent about €1,000. Men don’t wear make-up, so they never have to deal with this.

8. Our love/hate relationship with reality TV: We hate that reality TV show, but despite our best efforts we can’t tear ourselves away from it. Himself can’t understand why we waste our time watching shows that we do nothing except bitch about. Men don’t seem to realise that hating on reality TV is one of the main topics of conversation in offices across the country. Example: “Did you watch Made in Chelsea last night?” “Yeah it was really good, Spencer was being an absolute d**k!”

9. The dreaded ‘bad’ day: As women we tend to experience the occasional bad hair/face/life/body day. This is a day when we’re just not happy with a certain aspect of our life and walk around in a bit of a mood about it all. Men never seem to experience these kinds of days. They don’t know how annoying it is when you have a wardrobe full of clothes and nothing to wear or how frustrating it is when your hair just won’t cooperate with you.

She said she liked my hair... what a bitch!

10. Frenemies: Men will never understand just how complex and complicated female friendships actually are. This is why you’ll usually get a quizzical look when you come home from work and exclaim: “Rachel said I had nice hair today... that BITCH!” or “Sandra said my dress was lovely, but you could just tell she was being passive aggressive about it.”

Male friendships are generally simple, uncomplicated and can be fixed with a game of Xbox and a few pints if something goes horribly wrong. While female friendships are full of love and understanding, occasionally they can rub us up the wrong way. Not only do men fail to grasp the concept of a frenemy, we don’t think they’d be able to cope if they had one in their own life. Also the sheer genius of Mean Girls is totally lost on them.