10 Things… You’d Never Admit You Do In Private

There are certain things we all do in private that you should never share with the outside world. Sometimes it’s protecting your dignity, other times, well nobody needs to know that much about you. We round up the most likely secret behaviours banished for behind closed doors... Like Singing Really Loudly… … With a hairbrush, and probably out of tune. Double points if it’s anything from the 80s, or a musical. Sometimes you just need to Let it Go, Let it Goooooo Or Dancing Like No-one Is Watching Which is a good thing, because jiving in private means you’re going to bust some moves that should never see the light of day. For both your dignity, and the good of mankind. We repeat, you do NOT have the moves like Jagger, but your bedroom is your free pass. Squeeze Spots That whitehead that’s been mocking you all day? It is so about to get popped. You may also have a few baby pimples threatening to sprout. Now is the time to pick them out. Walk Around Naked Who doesn’t love some airtime in the birthday suit? Home alone means clothes are suddenly optional. Just avoid the kitchen, no-one needs to explain that burn there in the emergency room. Imaginary Arguments One of our greatest pet peeves in life? Thinking of the best comeback to that catty remark hours later. We’ve all had those moments where you suddenly mumble the best reply to yourself. Chances are you also air your grievances pretty spectacularly to your dog while waiting for the kettle to boil. It’s ok, he’s not going to snitch. Image via DogShaming.com Gorging on Food There’s two types of secret eaters. The type who eat the entire jar of Nutella/ packet of biscuits/ tub of ice-cream, or the type who saves her private time for those food groups that never look sophisticated when trying to manage the snack (we’re looking uncomfortably at you Crème Egg). Eating in private is a safe place. Enjoy the milk moustache, it’ll be a while before you can rock that bad boy again. Checking Your Teeth Checking your teeth in public requires a hand mirror with ducked head to the bag, or half cupping your mouth to a public mirror. In private you can bare those not-so-pearly whites and remove the traces of lettuce/chicken/insert awkward food group here, and do a double take for leftovers. Watching Embarrassing Films As with the gorger, there’s two types of films we want to avoid in public – the guilty pleasure film (A Walk To Remember) or a film that will leave you with the Kim Kardashian cry face. Taking Outfit Selfies In the words of Cher Horrowitz, “I don’t rely on mirrors so I always take polaroids” and thanks to our smartphones, we’re big fans of the outfit selfie. A girl needs to look her best. The outside world doesn’t need to know it took us three hours and three rotating outfits to get there. And thanks to our selfie check, we’re looking good too. #selfie #nofilter Facebook Stalk We’re pretty sure if guys knew the extent of the female Facebook stalk, we’d be all single with a posse of cats. That ex from five years ago is now engaged, living in Canada and has a dog Toby. We’re women, this is what we do.