The majority of us have an ex. Someone that ripped the heart out of your chest and stood on it, without thought or consideration for the fact that it hurts when a vital organ is broken. If you don’t, well you should count yourself lucky.
You can spend the first months of your break up playing an extreme game of hide and seek, but eventually, the inevitable occurs and you bump into that heartbreaker, and the following happens…
Here are the 10 things that you’ll experience when you run into the Ex Factor.
1. The Heart Palpitations Begin
What’s this now? Oh, yea, that’s your heart trying to jump out of your chest and hide because it remembers the damage the person approaching you caused. “Are these feelings?!” Breathe people, breathe.
2. Damn You, Deodorant
All the anti-perspirant in the world wouldn’t help the sweats you’re having right now.
3. The Drunk Text
You recall the last means of communication exchanged between you both. Sadly it was that drunk text you sent on New Year’s Eve telling him you deserve better.
4. But I Looked Great Yesterday…
“Do I look okay?!” This is one thing that goes through everyones mind when in the same location as an ex.
Listen ladies, you’ll never run into the ex when you’re looking your best. It just never happens and this is something we must accept.
5. Life Moves In Slow Motion
Now, we’re not talking romantic movie slow motion, but time does seem to draaaaaaaaaaaaaag on and on for those few minutes. What did you do to deserve this?
6. Why, Butterflies?! Why?
That horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach occurs, which will sadly not leave you until a few minutes after the experience is over and done with. The feelings, you can still feel the feelings…
7. Devise An Exit Strategy
We begin to look around for the nearest exit, quickly devising an escape strategy in our mind. It may be the nearest door to swiftly leave by. The closest person that you can grab and engage in what looks to be an interesting conversation. Reach into your handbag and answer your phone that clearly isn’t ringing and have a pretend conversation, an Oscar winning performance.
8. They Know Your Birthday Suit Inside And Out
They’ve seen you naked. Memories of passionate days gone by come flooding back. This is totally awkward.
9. Look Anywhere But The Eyes
You avoid engaging in any eye contact with the sheer fear that they may think you’re trying to trap them into one of those longing “I still love you” stares.
10. Small Talk Central And Awkward Greet
After departing from the scene that almost caused you to have a slight emotional breakdown in public, you begin to re-run the events in your head. Your inner dialogue goes a little something like this… “What did I say? Did I talk too much? Why did I say that? Oh no I shouldn’t have said that. I can’t remember anything I said because I was chatting so much. WHAT WAS I SAYING?!”
Don’t fret, it happens to us all… Panic mode well and truly kicks in and we let our mouths run away with themselves.
And now you must retain your position as a hide and seek amateur and hope that the game lasts longer next time.
