10 Things… You’ll See At Every GAA Match

A grand day out.

GAA matches are what Sundays were made for. Whether it’s club or county, there’s nothing in this country that unites people quite like our national sports do. In honour of the upcoming All Ireland football final, and indeed the hurling replay, we’re taking a look at ten things you’ll see at every GAA match. 

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The Picnic

It doesn’t matter if you’re travelling from Malin/Mizen head to Croker or two miles over the road to the local field, someone will pack a picnic. Necessary components include ‘hang’ sandwiches, red lemonade, a flask of tea and buttered biscuits. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.

 

The Blow In

Two varieties; the person who moves to a new parish and is considered a blow-in until they’ve been there at least a decade or more, of they’re proven to bleed the club colours, whichever comes first. The other sort refers to those ‘fans’ who don’t go to a county match all year, then land a pair of tickets for the All-Ireland. We have words for those guys, we’re just not allowed to say them.

 

The Bodhrán

Soundtrack of a GAA match; supporters screaming/cheering/chanting/crying, the referee’s whistle, air horns… and a bodhrán. Akin to a battle cry, the beating of the bodhrán tells the enemy (read: opposition), “we’re here, we’re ready”. Bring it.

 

The Other Half Who Doesn’t Have a Clue

It’s early days in the relationship and the lifelong St. Brendan’s man takes along the new missus to a Championship match. It’s clear that while she’s up to date with Liam Hemsworth and Liam Neeson, (judging by the fact that she’s flicking through E! Online for the duration of the match), she’s never heard of Liam Mc Carthy, and really couldn’t care less. On the other side, the poor lad who accompanies his camogie-playing corker to see her local side in action, and his D4 soul screams 'what IS this?'. You'll learn son, you'll learn.

 

The Arguments

It’s all fun and games until someone brings up ’83. For the most part, GAA fans are a ‘peace and love’ kind of bunch, fans of friendly rivalry but none of the crap that goes along with soccer derbys, for example. There’s always one blowout, usually only verbal and between two 50+ men from opposing sides who may need to take another look at their blood pressure medications. For the most part, we really like each other. Except Cork. No one likes Cork.*

 

The Painted Faces 

Suitable on grown-ups only twice a year; Halloween, and GAA matches. No, not even Electric Picnic. You look ridiculous. This is different, this is war paint. 

 

The Jersey Birds

Keep your soft soccer lads and your raucous rugby crew. Plenty of Irish women know the only sportsman you really want to bring home to mammy is a GAA man. Strong, dependable, committed, (they don’t get paid for this), and most often a schoolteacher or a guard in real life. What a catch. Multiplied by fifteen. Get in.

 

The ‘I Could Have Been A Contender’

Often a rural Irish sort, who was born in the same parish he grew up in and settled down in. A lifelong fan of the club and fervent supporter of his county, he nonetheless bears an incredible grudge against the whole setup, dating back to that Junior B injury he never recovered from. He could have been an All-Star, you know.

 

The Tears

An Irish man can cry on two occasions in his life. When his dog dies, and when his team loses. That’s it. 

  

The Opportunistic Traders 

Hat, flags, scarves and headbands. That is all.

 

*Disclaimer… penned by a Clare person. Sorry. (I’m not sorry).