Online dating apps have revolutionised the way we are dating.
Namely, first dates are more awkward than ever.
You envision an instant connection and lots more fun dates – what actually happens is that you drink too much and mention something you only know about him from secretly stalking his LinkedIn.
Here’s why first dates just shouldn’t be a thing.
1. Thumb cramps.
Hopping online to find a date can be taxing on your swiping thumb.
It takes a long time to find your Chris Hemsworth amidst a sea of 5-foot-somethings who “love life and having a laugh”.
2. Awkward chat-up lines.
What is it about the digital age that makes lads feel they have to be so creative with their openers?
“Hey, are you a haunted house? Because…” For the love of sweet baby Jesus, please do not.
3. The messaging phase.
Between now and the first date, you’re sort of expecting a few days of flirtatious, witty banter.
You get two messages.
He uses the wrong “your”.
4. Timing issues.
Do you go early and risk looking over-eager? Or go late and have to actually go through the moment where you walk into the bar and know he can see you and you can’t see him.
You might even approach the wrong person.
And then everyone will know…
5. The greeting. Oh, the greeting.
You’ll both do your best to be ever so polite, but he WILL end up touching your boob.
You’ll laugh and say it broke the ice, but two minutes later, you realise it didn’t even.
6. The waiting game.
That awful moment when you’ve ordered your cocktails and now you’re waiting for them to come.
You’ll probably talk about how lame Tinder is… ahem.
7. Competition.
The moment you realise the couple at the next table are on a first date too and you are now painfully aware of how much of a cliché you are.
Also, it’s clearly now a “who’s getting on better?” competition.
8. When you bump into someone you know.
And have to introduce your first date friend to them. Everyone knows the situation.
9. The “so why are you still single?” question.
After a LOT of brainstorming and workshopping the perfect answer for this question, we have come to the conclusion that there is none.
You’re on your own.
Best of luck.
10. Over compensation.
“I wanted to bring you somewhere a bit different after this.”
Please not your amateur comedy show. Please not your amateur comedy show.
11. The awkward goodbye.
You can’t decide whether to kiss him on the mouth, the cheek, or just hug him.
You end up kissing him on the ear. What a strange choice. Sadface.
*logs back onto Tinder because you can obviously never face him again.*
No matter how well (or not) your Valentine’s Day is going, take heart – someone else definitely has a worse Valentine’s Day date story than you do.
At Renault, we’re sharing the love until 29th February – we’re offering 2.9 per cent APR with Zero Deposit required.
Offers like this only come around every four years.
Renault Clio, #Restartyourheart
