11 reasons car sex should definitely not be a thing 3 years ago

11 reasons car sex should definitely not be a thing

The idea of car sex really gets us revved up. 

We have visions of THAT Titanic scene - all steamy windows and racing hearts.

But the reality is a bare-bottomed struggle in the back of a steamed-up Micra.

Just don't do it. It shouldn't be a thing.  Here's why.


1. Hard Objects

Between the steering wheel, gear stick and handbrake, it's hard to know which hard objects you're avoiding and which you're aiming for.

2. Carpet burn

If it's not carpet burn, it's your ass sticking to the leather. Both options are terrible, because car sex shouldn't be a thing.

3. Someone will hit the handbrake

Annnnd you're rolling down a hill butt-naked. Private parts are, however, still fully engaged.

4. You will bang your head

And you will pass out. It's probably for the best.

5. You will be caught

People just don't want to see that. And even worse - some do. They really, really do.

6. You'll be CAUGHT caught. 

*Newsflash from the fun police* Sex in public is illegal.

Head on a swivel. Head on a swivel.

7. Someone accidentally sits on the horn

There are too many innuendos.

8. Finding someplace to park 

By the the time you actually find someplace you both agree on, you hate each other.

9. Constant reminders of everyday life 

Let's face it, our car is our second bedroom... Food wrappers, bills, crumbs, gear bags, hairdryers....

10. Leg cramps

No-one wants to ugly-cry when they're having sex.

11. Awkward questions the next day

You're giving your friend a lift to work.

"What the hell is that stain??"

"Get out of my car."