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Life

26th Oct 2015

11 Things Penises Look Like (That We Really Wish They Didn’t)

You will never look at luncheon meats in the same way again...

Sophie White

The penis is a pretty perplexing appendage.

For something that is supposed to be enticing women to help them to further the human race, few penises could ever be described as conventionally attractive. They look a shade too close to an under-cooked pork loin or Ben Kingsley.

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The best a penis can hope for is to be really sound. They should work on their personalities more as they won’t be winning any beauty contests. Here’s 10 things penises look like (that we really wish they didn’t)…

Luncheon meat

Willy roll scarred many a national school attendee for life.

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Dr. Evil

How about one meeeellion dollars to never have to look directly at a penis again?

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Doctor Zoidberg

Another fleshy doctor we’d prefer not to have to touch with our bodies.

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A weird cat

C’mon, it’s undeniable….

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Coddle

The signature dish of Dublin City would put you off penis for life.

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Image via Dave McGinn

Honourable mention: this Bacon and Cabbage 

What is it about Irish pork products?

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Earthworm Jim

Am I the only one who’s been thinking this for years?

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HeyDay Arnold Schwarzenegger

AAAAAAHHHHH the veins are too much.

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DEFINITELY this guy….

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THIS snake is the two-headed penis of our nightmares.

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And finally when they’re feeling amorous, they look a LOT like this handsome devil…

via GIPHY