13 Things Only Cyclists Will Understand

Recently, Her.ie was challenged to cycle to work for a week. The gauntlet was laid down by One4All, as part of the Bikes4Work Scheme. The scheme allows employees to save from 31% to 52% off the cost of a new bike and safety equipment, using the employee tax credit scheme. It’s healthier and cheaper, gets some precious fresh air into those lungs and eases congestion around Ireland’s major towns and cities. Who were we to say no? Putting aside the fact that the last time this Her.ie scribe owned a bike her age was a single digit… we took the challenge on head (safely encased in a helmet) first. Here are the 13 things you will only understand if you’re a cyclist. ____________________________________________________ Picking a bike is just as hard as an adult Yes of course I want the lightweight, hybrid, multi-gear behemoth. But can I have it in the teal? And can I have a basket please? My new friend Shane in Halford’s be like… You will have a strong urge to name your new friend It’s cool to do it for your car, why wouldn’t you do it for your bike? If you can’t decide if your bike is male or female, a nice neutral name will do the trick. And it’s a handy get-out for other plans. “Oh I’d love to, but I can’t this evening… Me and Sam are going to the park.” It’s true what they say – you never forget how to ride a bike Riding it with any semblance of grace or ease is another thing entirely. As an adult, you will never be without your helmet As a child you might have cried when your mam made you wear it. Now, you’re all too aware of how soft that head of yours really is. There’s something really, really nice about a summer breeze on your face in the morning You feel free! You feel alive! Singing is optional but advised. There is nothing nice about a summer shower drenching you on the way IN to work You feel miserable. You feel cold. There are no smelly commuters to sit beside NOT TODAY MR. BUS MAN! Pedestrians hate you Those glares at the traffic lights. Excuuuuuse me, but I have right of way here thank you very much. Drivers hate you Like mammy used to say, they’re just jealous.   Politicians don’t do half enough planning with you in mind Oh of course this cycle lane has a 500m gap half way through! I’ll just hover over it, shall I?   Motorists blocking will give you the rage of a thousand fiery suns Seriously guys. Seriously. There’s a sense of achievement at every destination. I made it! Now I shall reward myself with tea and a chocolate biscuit because I deserve it. Your bike becomes a pal Your trusted travelling companion. Your fitness friend. Your noble steed. TOGETHER WE RIDE.   Bikes and accessory packages can be purchased to a maximum value of €1,000 through the employee tax credit scheme. To find out more about the One4all Bikes4work offer, click here.