If you work in an office then chances are you are probably reading this at work right now. Go you. You are getting paid to internet shop, update your various social media platforms, work on your novel and read this totally work-related, highly relevant to your current project article on the universal truths of offices everywhere... 13 Truths About Working in an Office: "F*ck Off," you scream-think 82,000 times a day, "shut up, shut up, shut UUUUUUP." The loud anecdoting is rarely interesting, HOWEVER if someone is talking quietly do EVERYTHING in your power to listen in. Pretending to work is basically a full time job. And takes up a large part of the day. Toilets must be avoided if at all possible during the 11 am mass defecation. The office kitchen is worse than your house share in Rialto during second year college – there is a chicken fillet roll from 2004. Also someone is always cooking some overly ambitious hell-concoction in the oven or reheating fish – unforgivable. Don't each peaches at your desk, it sounds exactly like you are performing oral sex on a piece of fruit. They can be found near the kettle expending a lot of time and energy telling everyone about how stressed they are, rather than addressing the cause of the stress. Their work-dodging is damaging their health... See also The 6 Emotional Stages of Being Hungover at Work. When office romance goes bad: This pair are easily identified as most likely they haven't spoken to each other in months. Do try to make this more awkward, it's like an office sport. True story. Don't hold this against them, yours is too. Main image via YouTube