I technically became a teenager in 1997 so I don’t want anyone getting too pedantic on timelines here.
The late nineties and early-noughties were virtually inter-changable, at least in that the main style directive appeared to be simply ‘let’s all try to look as hideous as possible here and not make it out of adolescence without a Chinese symbol tattooed to our lower back’ – and we didn’t did we? Still though I would way prefer to suffer the indignity of puberty in the pre-selfie age. Before high def makeup and Facebook – when we all looked mildly shit together, as teenagers should do. The teenager today looks far too groomed, healthy and blemish-free for my liking. Why should they get to dodge the indignity of panstick and being unable to match the colour of one’s foundation to the colour of one’s face?
22 Things You Don’t Miss If You Were an Early Noughties Teenager:
1. Rip-Offs – Responsible for 82 percent of all teenage humiliation from 1997 – 2005.
2. All Saints – no one could touch them in the combat-wearing stakes, though by god we tried.
3. The Nokia 3210.
4. Playing Snake.
5. White O’Neills tracksuit bottoms – and the absolute terror of period stains.
6. Belly button rings – that our mums absolutely hated, and that kinda caught in our trousers quite a lot.
7. Smirnoff Ice – and the fuzzy teeth feeling after too many.
8. Sun In – our hair never came out blond really did it?
9. Bebo – and the pain of the dial up connection.
10. Blow up furniture – Virtually impossible to sit on.
11. The Sims – Give me back my youth, damn you.
12. Sabrina the Teenage Witch marathons – The original binge-watching.
13. Plucking the absolute shite out of our eyebrows.
14. Lipgloss – And resulting hair sticking to face issues.
15. The Rachel – not to mention the whole ‘on a break’ saga.
16. Fancying Seth Cohen – Always and 4Eva.
17. Sewing a triangle of fabric into jeans to create ‘flares’– the ends of which constantly dragged and were permanently wet.
18. Calling people’s house phones.
19. Catching friends bitching in the 3-way phone call trap.
20. Thongs worn above waist of jeans.
21. Rotten.com – Traumatised for life.
22. Young Christina Aguilera – Pre-Xtina. In fact, young everyone. Remember when Joseph Gordon Levitt looked like this?
What did I miss? Let us know in the comments…
Main image via BBC News
