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Published 18:35 8 Sept 2014 BST
Updated 07:35 18 Dec 2014 GMT
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Blue Sky Thinking... Outside the Box
If there's one way to be absolutely certain someone doesn't have a clue what they're talking about, it's when they start to resort to terminology like this. THERE IS NO BOX. And no blue sky. It's raining. It's always raining.
I'm Just One of You!
No, you're not. You're the boss - so whether you like it or not, you're different. It's not a bad thing (it's definitely not a bad thing for your wallet), but you're not one of the gang. Now stop asking me about my Saturday night, because I have The Fear that you saw me in Coppers.
This Is Really Good for the Company
That means one thing Mr/Mrs Bossman/Bosswoman. You're about to earn a sh*tload more money. Good for you, but unless you're sending bonuses all round, don't expect us to start the happy dance.
I'm Here For You
One of the most uncomfortable moments of your working life is likely to occur when a boss who really wants to be compassionate just doesn't know quite how to. Awkward.
Put It In A Presentation
That thing I just spent talking you through for a two-hour meeting? You'd rather I just wrote to all down. Cool. Sure. No problem. That steam coming out my ears? It's a medical condition.
How Do You See Your Future Here?
Well, now that you mention it... Thanks for everything.
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