“I slept with a guy from work recently.
“We were getting on well afterwards, but then he just stopped talking to me and became awkward. Except when we were alone together – then he’s all chat and v flirty.
“Thing is, I don’t actually want a relationship with him. Just a bit of fun and banter… and I’m pretty sure he’s after the same thing. How do I get him to stop being an awkward plonker?
“Should I avoid? Should I see what’s up with him? He’s very hot.
“From Ms. Stuck Between a Rock and an Office Desk x”
No. 1: fair play for sleeping with someone very hot, get it girl.
No. 2: sex has the potential to make even the chillest of us awkward as fuck. It just does.
One day you could see some lad you rode in Spar and play it absolutely cool… and the next day you could see that same lad on the bus home from work and want to crawl inside of yourself with the sheer mortification that they saw you in your not-night-out underwear.
It happens to the best of us – and it might be happening to this guy too.
Then on the other hand, there is also a chance that you sleeping together has just made you hyper aware of this lad’s personality.
Maybe he was always super chatty one day, and then a bit awkward the next. Maybe sometimes he’s the life of the party (or office) and then other times he’s more quiet and reserved.
If you’re the kind of person who meticulously obsesses over who exactly is viewing your Instagram Stories (how does that algorithm work?!), then you probably obsess over every little interaction with the people you’re into too.
To be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever, ever been in a scenario where I’ve either gone out with, slept with, or just been around some lad I vaguely fancy where the same thing hasn’t happened.
Suddenly, them accidentally ignoring you in the hall means that they have no interest in ever speaking to you again. Them chatting to your mate instead of you means that they’re going to have sex with everyone you know. They don’t view your story and that means they want you dead.
(It doesn’t, and they don’t… but it feels that way. It really does.)
In a regular situation, you just wanting a bit of fun would be grand either way. If he wanted the same thing, unreal, and if he didn’t, you’d be sad about it for approx one week and then you’d move on with your life.
Working in the same place complicates things though because whatever happens, you’re probably going to see each other every day.
You’re friends but you’re still colleagues, you’re having the laugh but still need to keep it mildly professional, you want to ride in the accounts office after hours but you definitely shouldn’t because there’s cameras everywhere.
The usual.
If you’re confident that you can have a bit of fun with this lad without it getting messy then I don’t really see any reason why you shouldn’t go for it – if he was chatting to you after then he must be into it too.
But if you’re worried that his sudden awkward weirdness has got anything to do with you, seeing if anything’s up with him might be your best bet.
Addressing that doesn’t have to be a weird, awkward, we-just-rode thing either.
If anyone in the workplace you had some kind of relationship with was suddenly acting differently, you’d want to know why… irrespective of whether you’d had sex or not.
At least that way you’ll know for certain whether this is worth perusing or not.
Or you’ll never know and instead remain in this state of pained, hot-lad work-based limbo forever.
Whichever.
Worried about going on a first date with someone new? Got some lad onto you who won’t take the hint? Are you being ghosted, breadcrumbed, or some other new form of dating trend? Just need somewhere to vent about everything that’s wrong with your love life? Same, to be honest.
Don’t worry though because at Her we’ve been there, we are still there, and we can maybe even give you some decent advice. At the end of the day, #ShiftHappens to all of us.
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