Are You Still Talking? How To End An Uncomfortable Conversation As Quickly As Possible

As human beings, we’re supposed to be all about the communication. We’re supposed to love chatting to each other, exchanging information and soaking up all the jibber-jabber that’s flying around the place. And for the most part we do love it.

However, occasionally in life we get locked in an incredibly boring/offensive/uncomfortable conversation that we just don’t want to be apart of under any circumstance. So what are we to do?

Chances are most of us will just stand there and continue to listen and nod in all the right place (while secretly thinking about how much fun you’d be having elsewhere). But did you know that there are a few strategic ways in which you can end a coversation for good?

Granted most of these conversation-enders are a little rude/inappropriate but hey, if you just really, really, really want the banter with a certain person to end as quickly as possible who are we to judge?

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Guaranteed Ways to End A Conversation

Ask where the bathroom is

Ask where the bathroom is: Nothing kills the bubble of communication faster than asking where the bathroom is. If you’re really fed up of the conversation, don’t even bother waiting until the speaker has finished talking. Simply declare that you feel the call of nature and you have to attend to it. Right now.

If the speaker continues yakking away, just say that you have a terrible stomach bug and go into excruitating detail about the inner-workings of your digestive system. They’ll let you leave, trust us.

Use an excuse: Simply interrupt the person who is currently talking at you and say: “Excuse me, I’ll be right back...” Obviously when using this conversation-ender the whole point is to NEVER RETURN. EVER. Give your excuse, turn on your heel and (once the person has stopped watching you) absolutely leg it out the nearest door/fire exit.

Never give a reason as to why you’re leaving, just leave it open-ended and the person will definitely get the hint. Sorted.

Find a way out: Frantically scan the room for one of your friends (or even a nearby stranger who looks sort of like one of your friends) and say “Oh my god, there’s my friend who I haven’t seen in years! Amazing!” and run over to the person.

Strike up a little small talk with your friend/your random new friend until you’re sure that you’re off the hook and have managed to escape successfully from the original person who was boring you to death.

Use your facial expressions to show the person how bored/upset you are

Use ‘the face’: When someone is really getting on your nerves and you just want the conversation to be over the best thing you can do is just put a blank expression on your face and don’t respond to anything they say. If they ask you a question, stay quiet. If they continue talking, stay quiet.

Eventually they’ll get so bored of talking AT you rather than with you that they’ll just wander off and find a new victim. (You can also use this face when someone asks you to do something dull, like setting the table or taking out the rubbish).

Be brutally honest: This one won’t win you any admirers but if someone is really getting your goat just tell them the truth. Say: “Hey [insert name here], despite the fact that I’ve stood here listening to you for the past two years of my life, you’re really boring me/i have no interest in [insert their topic of choice here]. If you need me I’ll be elsewhere. Good luck.”

Helpful life tip: it’s probably best if you keep this one for emergencies only.