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Life

11th Apr 2017

Astrological appetites: what your star sign says about your stomach

Alison Bough

Are you a pleasure-seeking, slow-eating Taurean foodie? Or a straightforward meat and two veg kind of Aries? Find out what your star sign says about your likes and dislikes when it comes to nosh..

Aries

Aries are the ultimate meat and two veg people. Don’t bother faffing about with Masterchef style presentation because the impatient ram will have everything gone before everyone else sits down. Don’t expect too much home-cooking or cake baking from an Aries gal – unless they can peel the plastic back or stick it in the microwave, they ain’t interested.

Taurus

Worshipers of Venus, Taureans are the greedy-guts of the Zodiac. Bulls are also the ultimate pleasure seekers when it comes to food. If it’s not fried, heavily seasoned, gravy-rich, or cream-based, it’s not real food. Quantity is just as important as quality to Taureans so you won’t catch them skimping on their servings. Food is definitely the way to a Taurean’s heart and bulls delight in grazing slowly…for hours.

Gemini

The best thing that could ever happen to a Gemini is a buffet table. Fast-paced, fidgety and highly sociable, it’s a Gemini’s dream come true to sample a little bit of everything and not be restricted in their food choices. Gemini fellas won’t dawdle over dinner so don’t expect long candlelit chats. Likewise, Gemini women reckon time spent in the kitchen is time wasted so takeaways reign supreme.

Cancer

Mama’s home cookin’ and lots of it please. If your other half was born under this sign, don’t even TRY to compete with their mammy’s culinary skills – nothing will come close in their eyes. Cancerians celebrate and commiserate with food. Happy? Eat. Unhappy? Eat some more. Food is always the answer for these culinary crabs.

Leo

Ah, Leo, the vainest of all the star signs. These proud lions expect the very best of everything in life. Restaurant? Fine, but it better have at least one Michelin star and serve Cristal. Leos genuinely appreciate good food and wine and aren’t stingy with their compliments – as long as what they’re praising is flawless of course. This astrological connoisseur makes an excellent dining companion but a terrifying critic.

Virgo

Ah bless. One of the more sensitive signs of the zodiac (in every sense). Virgoans are fussy eaters and rightly so as they are notoriously weak of stomach. Many born under this sign choose a vegetarian or vegan diet, concerned both about animal welfare and cautious about what they put into their bodies. Not the most creative cooks, they will rely on dependable recipes that they’ve tried and perfected over the years. Always focused on hygiene and cleanliness, these spotless cooks are unlikely to be behind a case of food poisoning.

Libra

The phrase “eyes bigger than your belly” was made for Librans. Of course, given that they are represented by scales, this sign is all about balance. They will attempt to satisfy all of their senses equally while dining. For them, the atmosphere is just as important as the food on their plate. Not one to skip a course, they’ll be saying yes to a starter, main, and dessert but may well “leave a bit for Mr Manners” each time. All in moderation is the ethos here.

Scorpio

You won’t be long queuing behind a Scorpion; they know exactly what they want and exactly what they don’t. Food is all about the experience for this go-getter sign. They’re just as happy in a chipper as they are in a five star restaurant, as long as they’re having the craic. Not known for pleasure-delaying, Scorpions will eat and drink as much as much as they can but when they’re done, they are done and will disappear quickly; no point in hanging around once their experience is over. Don’t be fooled by their greedy nature – they’ll still notice all the finer culinary details.

Sagittarius

Sporty and with a never-ending desire for freedom, Sagittarians love an aul picnic or BBQ. Being outside is super important to this sign and they’ll get bored and antsy if they have too much of the same thing. Always searching for new tastes and their next culinary adventure, you can impress an archer with more unusual foods, not usually found on the shelves. Foods with exciting and glamorous names have huge appeal for this sign and they won’t mind blowing the budget in search of something few others have tasted.

Capricorn

Food is merely a practicality for Capricorn. No fuss please, this sign prefers simple, classic and traditional every single time. Working their way methodically through their to-do lists means that they often disregard stopping for big meals or luxuriating over long boozy lunches. Time is money you know. Their body is a hard-working machine and the appropriate fuel should be sensible, high-calorie and slow-burning to get them from the end of one busy day to another. Mind you, their Achilles heel is a sweet tooth and they can’t resist an ‘aul donut.

Aquarius

Aquarians are the ultimate experimental chefs. Anything and everything exotic, unusual, or highly-spiced for this sign please. If they won the lotto, they’d be the most likely sign of the zodiac to hire a personal chef to follow them around and cater to their every foodie whim and desire. Sociable individuals, they are truly in their element hosting big dinner parties and feeding their friends. Just don’t accept an invite if you are a picky eater because you’re unlikely to be served anything bland.

Pisces

It’s probably not a coincidence that the sign ruled by the water element and represented by a fish is the world’s biggest seafood fan; they can’t get enough. Pisceans just want everyone to be happy, nawww. Shakespeare’s quote “if music be the food of love, play on” is made for this sign. Fine food, dancing and soft lighting are this sign’s dream scenario. A glass of wine and dinner on a moonlit terrace will win a Piscean over every single time.