Back to work and in the depths of despair? Here's your declassified survival guide
These five steps will help you out.
The alarm clock rang this morning and we swore we were in Dante's Inferno, in the seventh circle of hell. Once we finally pulled our unwilling bodies out of the bed, into the shower and tried to make ourselves look reasonably presentable, it was time for the dreaded commute.
Fast forward to nine o' clock and we were trying to remember how to actually do our jobs. Oh, and to come up with a more exciting answer to the "how was your Christmas?" question than, "ah sure, you know yourself, one too many tins of roses".
The worst part of #backtowork is this:
-"Happy New Year!"
-"Yes, Happy New Year!"
-"Yes thank you, it was lovely. You?"
-"Same, quiet. Back to the grindstone now though eh?"
-"Ha ha! Yes."
<REPEAT x 20 or until you actually choke to death on your own banality>
— ?Phlegm Clandango? (@Cain_Unable) January 2, 2019
Yes, there's no denying - these are dark times. Luckily, we've come up with a declassified back to work survival guide to raise your spirits. And, while they're not groundbreaking, these steps might just prevent you from having a breakdown at the watercooler on working day one of 2019. You got this, soldier.
STEP ONE: ("All sorrows are less with bread")
Plan a simple, delicious and if you can hack it, healthyish dinner. Have something in mind that you're going to make when you come in from work and if you need to, pick up a few ingredients after work. There's nothing worse than getting in the door and having no game plan when it comes to your dinner plans. Inevitably, you'll have a meltdown and opt for a giant bowl of Coco Pops so here are three easy dinner ideas.
STEP TWO: ("Netflix fixes everything")
Original quote by me there, but can you question its validity? No. After or avec your delicious din-dins, find something to really sink your teeth into on Netflix. We'd recommend Bird Box, Bandersnatch, or the chilling new original series, You. They're all guaranteed to distract you from the January blues.
STEP THREE: ("Be a gal with a plan")
Having something to look forward to is the best way to keep ploughing through the mundane lifey bits. So send a text to a friend and arrange to meet them for coffee, breakfast, or a class at the weekend. The time you pour into looking forward to it will make the weekend come around much quicker. Just, try not to do the "plan laugh" if you're in the office.
STEP FOUR: ("pick a daycent New Year's resolution")
Resolutions aren't everyone's cup of tea, but January is a fresh start and a chance to accomplish something you might not have gotten around to last year. Look, WHO has time for the boring clichéd ones? If you haven't already set one, why not take some time this evening to come up with a quirky one? To improve my rather appalling knowledge of geography and become a challenging opponent at future table quizzes, I've decided I want to learn one capital of one country each day. Random I know, but something to break up each day a little.
STEP FIVE: (Not to sound like yer ma but "get some sleep")
I massively struggled to get to sleep last night and looking around the office at a few tired heads, I don't think I was the only one. The Calm app with its sleep tips and sleep stories always help me. Otherwise, I'll throw on an audiobook or a nice podcast to fall asleep to.
Lads, if all else fails just remember it's a short week and we're all in the same boat. It'll be grand!