Don’t Know If You’re Any Good In Bed? This App Will Help You Decide

We often hear people say, "they’ve thought of everything." We don’t know who exactly ‘they’ are but they’re great… and now they want to know just how great you are.

Yes, those clever App designers have decided that not only do they need to provide us with Apps that takes the hard work out of pulling (both puns intended), Apps that provide us with tips on how to have the night of our lives, they now have an App to determine just how good we are in bed.

How does it work? Spreadsheets promises to help quantify all of the things that they believe constitutes to great sex. The result takes into consideration the number of thrusts, the pitch of your scream, and in the end will hit you with the good (or bad), news.

On their site Spreadsheet state that it, “does not record or playback your session because that would be creepy”, yea, they’re right, because turning on an App to measure your moans in the first place, isn’t creepy at all.

You performed better last week...

Spreadsheet promises to: “Find out how many thrusts per minute you’re averaging, how long you go for, and exactly how loud it gets. Keep a record of your encounters, date, time, and performance.” No, thanks. 

The App also offers “achievements” to regular users that can be unlocked based on how frequently you use the app to measure your sexytime. Yes, because the main goal in the bedroom would be unlocking regular achievements on your sex calculator App.

And folks, if you really need an app to determine whether you’re hitting the right chords in the bedroom, chances are, you’re probably not.