Five Celebrity Identities We Would Steal… And Why

Ever get up on a Monday morning and wish you were rich enough to not have to go to work or fit enough to not have to go the gym or that you would wake up beside Ryan Gosling? Yes, we have all been there.

In current box-office hit Identity Thief, Melissa McCarthy plays a character who lives it up on various stolen identities, which got us thinking - which celeb identities would we like to own for just a while? So, if we had the opportunity to steal anyone’s identity, we reckon these five women would be our targets.

1. Oprah

Oprah has a net worth of almost three billion; that reason alone would be enough to steal her identity but besides that fact, we’re pretty sure it would be amazing to be the talkshow host. We would announce everyone who visits our houses by introducing them just like Oprah, we would have a book club and be able to cook anything. Most importantly, we would have a couch installed in our sitting room where we would offer the best advice in town. If you are really excited about an upcoming wedding, we may let you jump on it.

2. Beyonce

Every time we see a picture of Beyonce, one side of our brain thinks “isn’t she amazing” while the other half is screaming “why can’t I be her?” Beyonce is just one of those women that has it all, she’s ridiculously fit and hot, she’s married to a music giant, she has a gorgeous baby and, to top it all off, she’s bloody really talented too. Perhaps most endearingly, the diva believes that every woman should embrace who she is, with the result that she looks like a real woman, albeit a goddess of a woman with amazing curves. Favourite Beyonce story? After finishing work on Dreamgirls, the actress went straight to Krispy Kreme doughnuts as she had been starving herself for so long. Atta girl, Beyonce, atta girl.

3. Tina Fey

The main writer for SNL and creator of 30 Rock, Tina Fey is one of the funniest women in showbusiness. Fey first began in an improv group and worked her way onto the SNL writing team, eventually becoming Head Writer for the show and, later a performer. Now, she has currently finished work on 30 Rock, is the main go-to gal for awards presenting and balances all of the above with a great home life with a husband and two kids. Wouldn’t it be nice to be a hugely respected comic writer? Like her alter ego Liz Lemon would say, we want to go to there.

 

4. Eva Mendes

We’re not sure if we really need to justify this one. She is currently dating Ryan Gosling, a great actress and is absolutely stunning. Case closed. If in any doubt, refer to reason one. Ryan Gosling.

5. Jennifer Lawrence

As we informed you last week, even the Westboro Baptist Church, those crazies who hate everyone, love Jennifer Lawrence. Which led us to the conclusion, everyone in the known universe loves Jennifer Lawrence. We would be totally fine with having an Oscar under our belt, a starring role in a hugely successful movie series and Bradley Cooper as our best friend. We just can’t promise that friendship line might not be crossed. Oh, and she’s really pretty. And very funny. Did we mention everyone loves her? She fell at the Oscars, everyone still loved her.

Honorary mention

Emma Stone

If for some reason, any of the above was not an option for identity theft; our honourable mention would most certainly go to Emma Stone. At just 24, Stone has the world in the palm of her hand. Incredibly funny, sassy and extremely intelligent, Stone also counts The Gosling as one of her really good friends. It’s a hard life Emma. There was also this amazing Ellen appearance.

 

Identity Thief, starring Melissa McCarthy and Jason Bateman, is in cinemas now.