Halloween night can really scare the bejaysus out of any singleton on the tear. Whether it’s the lad propped beside the bar in a Fonz jacket, or the man whose chat-up line is enough to make you weep, we’ve compiled the list of the men who’ll be haunting the dancefloor tonight.
Step away, or you’ll be facing a whole new level of The Fear tomorrow morning…
The Guy Who Takes The Costume Too Seriously
He’s been planning this for months. That sideburn gel is no accident and he’s working on perfecting the American accent to match the outfit. This guy is likely to spend more time looking in every mirror walking by the bar then working on impressing you. Walk away now.
The Guy Who Tries To Interpret Your Costume…
… Which is really just an excuse to stare at your chest. You have to remind him your face is a couple of inches north.
This guy will also be pinching bums and using cheesy pick-up lines. Move along.
The Guy Who Spent Hours Trailing Every Catwoman/ Superwoman/ Any Woman
He’s not fussy who he’s going home with, he just hopes you’ll be his hero baby. You’ve seen him do the rounds and now he’s approached your group of friends. You have no intentions of being second choice. Now let him know so you can wander on to find a Batman, not a Robin.
He could probably do with some directions to the cloakroom. So he can go home. Alone.
The Leader of the Pack
He’s in a group costume, and they’re pretty much inseparable. Talking to one means you’ll need to befriend them all. Conversation will probably revolve around hilarious “in-jokes” and lad ‘bants’. Unless you can divide and conquer, it’s time to call quits. Before you have war paint on your cheeks. Or have to witness some seriously questionable dance moves.
The Man Now Naked On The Dancefloor
He started in a toga, and now his manhood is on threat of making a special appearance. He’s probably giving it socks to ‘Thriller’ and throwing his hands around while dragging in strangers to join in on the craic. You’ll shudder if he’s wearing an item from your wardrobe.
We give this man brownie points for enthusiasm, once he can keep himself under wraps before stepping into the taxi!
And don’t even start feeling guilty, we ALL judge (just a little…)
