If you and your friends are venturing to Magaluf this summer we are certain you will have a blast. Having been there we have some helpful advice to impart on all you lucky jetsetters!
- Don't tell your Mom everyone calls it Shagaluf.
- Do Pack smartly. Cute wedges, shorts, bikinis and tshirts are literally all you need. You don't want to be the fool trying to squeeze your carry-on bag into Ryan Air's outlined square in front of the huge queue in Shannon Airport shouting "I CAN MAKE IT FIT!!
- Do visit Baywatch. The best bar on Magaluf's strip invites its female visitors to climb onto the bar and dance in front of a cheering, boozy crowd. The experience is side-splitting-ly fun and let's face it you already feel like Megan Fox after six Jagerbombs.
- Don't get notions of crowd-surfing. The aim is to come home with all of your teeth.
- Do be careful who you shift. Remember that gorgeous guy you copped off with last night in BCM? He is The Planet of the Apes extra who keeps waving at you on the beach.
- Don't decide that amusements which spin you upside-down are a good idea after four Pina Coladas. You will see them again very soon afterwards.
- Do drink out of a Penis Shaped Glass. It will keep you amused for at least an hour.
- Do expect all the men to be like those bald cats. There is not a chest hair in sight. Its like a thing here.
- Don't even attempt to do anything touristy. We all know daylight hours are for recovery. Do not board a boat under any circumstances. You will die.
- Do visit BCM! €30 in. Free Drinks. Holiday Shift Central. Do not expect to leave with your dignity intact.
- Don't have unprotected holiday sex. Haven't you seen Embarrassing Bodies? Yikes!
