The uncertainty of life these past few years has crossed over into love lives.
If you’ve been feeling a little unsure when it comes to dating post-pandemic, you’re not alone.
Lockdowns, face masks, and social distancing may be behind us (for the most part) but the pandemic is still having a huge impact on our dating, love and sex lives. Apparently, it’s making us a lot more cautious to get back out there.
Our days of being fearful of meeting new people and contracting a virus seem to have stayed with us, even if we don’t quite realise it.
Coined by dating site Plenty of Fish, hesidating is seemingly rampant among singletons, and it occurs when one feels indifferent about dating or unsure if they want to date seriously or casually.
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The theory goes that the general uncertainty of life over the past couple of years has made us uncertain in almost all aspects of our lives.
Recent research by the dating site shows 70% of singles are questioning what exactly they want in a relationship and whether they want something serious or more casual.
And even those of us who know they want to find a serious relationship might end up hesidating anyway, because we’re not sure if our potential partner has all the qualities we’re looking for.
It feels like we lost a huge chunk of our lives to Covid, and people are also afraid of wasting more time. The possibility of putting time and effort into someone who is all wrong for us can be scary.
Vice President of dating.com, Maria Sullivan, recently told InStyle: “In the mind of a hesidater, they will typically pull back or seem uncertain when things start to progress in a relationship due to their own internal struggle when it comes to making decisions, both romantically and in general.
“For many hesidaters, the idea of a long-term relationship with someone who isn’t a true match is overwhelming and scary, as coming out of Covid-19, nobody wants to lose even more time. This leads to a hesitant attitude and, in some cases, even prevents a relationship from becoming committed or serious altogether.”
It sounds super negative, but don’t worry. We haven’t all chosen to go celibate and die alone. It’s just that we’ve changed how we think when it comes to dating throughout the pandemic. And our changing attitudes have birthed a vast array of new dating trends.
We’re seeing, more than ever, people rejecting what’s considered ‘the norm’, and opting to embrace movements like single positivity or platonic life partnerships instead.
Some of us have come out on the total opposite side of the spectrum too, just look at the rise of power PDA – after two years without much physical touch, people are jumping right in, and showing affection in public is becoming accepted and normalised (thanks, Kravis).
If you find yourself seeing someone and you feel like you might be guilty of hesidating, it’s okay to communicate that you’re unsure what you’re looking for.
At the end of the day, if the term resonates with you, that’s fine. There is no pressure to rush into anything or to ‘get back out there’. Take time to figure out what’s right for you.
