“I’ve never heard another man discuss the impact a rape of a woman he loved had upon him. But I’ve lived it and feel compelled to share.”
Sexual assault is a heinous crime to inflict on anyone.
The lifelong implications of rape and assault are unfathomable to those who haven’t experienced it. So too are the feelings of those close to the victim. One man has taken to Twitter, compelled to share his experience.
He begins by explaining that it was the night before his birthday.
I've never heard another man discuss the impact a rape of a woman he loved had upon him. But I've lived it and feel compelled to share
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
July 10, 1998. The day before my birthday. I was out with the homies at an Orioles game. Hung out, got drunk, got high, had a ball.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
My girlfriend at the time had been out planning a surprise b-day party for me. Of course I was not aware of this at the time.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
Anyway, I got home sometime around 2am. I admit that I had been driving drunk and should've stayed where I was.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
We lived together in Greenbelt at the time. I pulled up to the condo and saw a rack of police. I was drunk, so I got scared.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
I didn't want to get out of the car and get hit with a DUI, so I sat there for about 30 mins. I then fell asleep.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
I woke up around 4am to my girl's sister blowing up my cell phone. I answered and she was screaming "Where are you!?!?"
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
I said "I'm right here, I'm right here" as I ran past the police cars still parked there, into the building and to my condo.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
As I ran up the stairs I saw pieces of a dress that I had bought my girl strewn all over the steps. My heart was racing like shit.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
I got to my front door and cops were taking fingerprints. I told them who I was, showed my ID and they allowed me access.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
I walked in and my girl was on the floor balled up in a fetal position covered in a bathrobe. I walked over to her & she was shaking
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
I walked in and my girl was on the floor balled up in a fetal position covered in a bathrobe. I walked over to her & she was shaking
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
I kept asking what happened, but she wouldn't answer. She just kept crying. Her sister pulled me away, into the bedroom & broke the news.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
As she arrived home & placed her key in the door, she heard quick footsteps. A man grabbed her from behind & began to choke her.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
He tried to force her into the apartment, but she fought back. He then dragged her down 2 flights of stairs & out of the building.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
From there he assaulted her physically and then forcefully took her to the back of the building into a wooded area.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
At that point, he then sexually assaulted her. He physically assaulted her. He stole her purse & her keys and took off in her car.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
As my girl's sister told me this, I broke down. I mean, I broke the fuck down. I went back out and tried to hug my girl. She screamed.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
I talked to the police. They verified what her sister told me. I was in shock. I couldn't breathe.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
My baby was hurting. I wasn't there. I wasn't there to keep this from happening. Dear, God.. why!?!?
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
Never in my life had I felt so much pain. I wasn't there to keep her from being raped. I was all kinds of fucked up.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
Her sister got her up enough to get her to the hospital. We rode in the car silently. I sat in waiting areas while exams were done.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
Got home. Her mom had arrived by then with her other sisters. They all surrounded her with love. Me, she wouldn't let me near her at all
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
I just sat there… broken. There was nothing I could do. I'd touch her gently and she'd jump and start crying.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
Called a locksmith in the AM & had the locks changed. Called police about the car being stolen. Called insurance. Called my parents.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
Cops had nothing on the car. Insurance was being a hassle. My mom then came over to see her.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
She went to stay with her sister. I advertised the condo for rent and we moved less than a week after the incident.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
There was no way we could stay there. She was a shell. She didn't say a single word to me for close to two weeks.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
The police would call, say they had potential suspects and I'd drive her down to Palmer Park to look at line-ups. Nothing. A painful process
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
Eventually we settled into the basement of a friend's home for shelter. All of our stuff in storage. No car found, no assailant caught.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
After months of going to police station, the leads didn't pan out. No one was caught. The car turned up in the parking lot at Jasper's.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
She refused to get back in the car. State Farm gave me hassle. Claims agent joked that maybe we stole our own car since it was found close.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
All the anger & pain bottled up in me released. I jumped over the counter at the State Farm office and grabbed the claims agent.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
I'm dealing with all this and this asshole thought we made it all up for insurance money. I lost it. Other employees grabbed me off him
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
They threatened to call the police. I told them what he said and what we had been through and that I had every right to kirk out on him.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
We ended up getting compensated for items stolen from the vehicle and nothing else. I sold the car and got her something else.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
For the next 18 mos, it was pure hell. I did everything I could to be there for her. I didn't push sex because I knew what her psyche was.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
2 years after the incident, we parted ways. We had been together for 3 years before that terrible night occurred.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
I still reflect back to that night and the shit still hurts like hell.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
I wasn't there to save her from the pain and anguish. I wasn't there. I was out with the homies at a baseball game, drinking & smoking.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
Of course there was no way for me to know an assailant would victimize her that night. But I still feel bad about it. I wasn't there……..
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
My 26th birthday. A day I'll never forget. The pain I still hold in my heart. The love I had for someone who was sexually assaulted.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
Life changed. I changed. I never let any woman I was dating walk to or from my home or theirs without escort or careful watch.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
I had years of wishing I could get my hands on him. I had so much bottled up in me. I wanted to kill him for what he did to her.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
The system took care of him. Justice right? I don't feel it. He ruined lives. Not just my girlfriend's life, but other women he raped.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
Anyway, as you can tell I'm still impacted by it. 18 years later. Thanks for listening…
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
While I'm being transparent & 100% truthful. It wasn't just my girlfriend, it was my wife. Incident occurred a month after we got married.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
Still very, very hard to digest. That incident wrecked our marriage. Sadly, there was no recovering from it.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) August 16, 2016
The Twitter user identified Aaron Thomas as the rapist. In 2015 Thomas confessed to being the East Coast Rapist and admitted responsibility for a number of rapes that occurred during the 90s. According to The Washington Post Thomas is responsible for more than a dozen rapes from the 1990s to 2009 in Virginia, Maryland, Rhode Island and Connecticut.
During his trial, remarks from victims were read.
“The funk of your body and the claminess of your skin still haunt me,” said one in a statement.
She wrote about not allowing the incident to destroy her.
“I will continue to love harder and keep pushing,” she wrote. “That night will never go away, the wet, cold, painful and lifeless feeling will forever be a part of me, but my spirit will not be broken.”
