
Life

Share
7th April 2018
10:23am BST

— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 29, 2018Craig says he's learned a lot of things since his time living with two women began. ... And each and everyone of them are absolutely too real.
Guilty.1. They show each other ALL of the messages that they receive from everybody. Nobody is safe. Girls don’t need screenshots mate, they have photographic screenshot memories
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
A healthy gut is a talked about gut.2. Contrary to popular belief, girls do poo. And they ain’t scared to talk about it mate. “I NEED A POO” is probably the most used phrase in this house.
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
You can never have enough bobby pins, Craig. Never.3. HAIR CLIPS. Oh my days the hair clips. Stand on them, sit on them, wake up with them attached to your skin, mate I could have a fucking bath in the ones I find on a weekly basis
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
It's a process.4. The process for getting ready for a night out is not just “wash, get dressed, go out”. Nah. There’s meetings, catwalk shows, endless compliments and it’s sometimes an actual 2 man job cos some dresses have back zips that would literally be impossible for one girl to reach mate
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
They're to mask the smell of all the pooing.5. Candles. We have SO MANY CANDLES. Candles that smell like really weird things, like “rhubarb and custard”. I don’t even know what rhubarb and custard actually smells like?!?
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
It's *RuPaul.6. Kardashians. Ibiza Weekender. Ru Paul. Ex On The Beach. Love Island. Geordie Shore. Mate, I know everything about all of these people I’ll never meet. There are SO MANY EPISODES OF THEM ALL! And the worst thing is, I actually gave in and really got in to Love Island ?
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
We deserve all of the nice things.8. Girls go on and on about dieting and “bikini bodies” etc, but trust me when I say that “cheat day” is pretty much whenever they feel sad about anything. Bad day? Glass of wine. Is it Monday? Chocolate. Did your boyfriend tell you we can’t have a dog? Dominos.
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
Give us a name and we'll have their Facebook, LinkedIn, MySpace profile from 2007, and the location of their conception. It's not hard.9. I know that the saying goes “girls find out everything”, but if that’s true it’s only because they are NEXT LEVEL instagram stalkers. Seriously I mention a first name, after 5 mins on insta they know the persons dogs name, their shoe size and their national insurance number
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
An ideal existence. And scarily accurate.10. Dressing gowns. If you haven’t got a dressing gown then you are missing out mate. Some days when we’re hungover, we literally don’t get out of dressing gowns all day. The girls go Tesco in dressing gowns and nobody even cares bruv
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
Explore more on these topics: