Make Peace, Not War: How To Discuss Relationship Problems Without Starting A Fight

For years relationship experts have told us that good communication is essential for any relationship to thrive. Happy couples are couples that know how to talk to each other about the good stuff and the not-so-good stuff.

Some people are naturally gifted communicators. They just know how to express themselves to their partner. However, most of us need a little help in this area especially when it comes to addressing relationship problems.

So how can you talk about issues that you might have with your fella without causing a fight? Here are a few simple tips to help you out. You’ll be a skilled communicator in no time!

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Can you talk to him about whatever is bothering you?

Can you talk about it? When you have a problem in a relationship, the first thing you need to ask yourself is ‘can I talk to him about this?’ In order to solve any issue, you need to have a partner who cares enough to listen to you, understand where you’re coming from and help you find a solution to the problem. If you can’t talk to him about your problems, then you may find yourself fighting a losing battle.

Your approach is important: Rather than just yelling at him out of the blue for something he’s done, plan your approach. Shouting will get you nowhere. Instead of entering into the conversation in a defensive or angry manner, start it by saying something like: “I really care about you and I care about this relationship. I don’t want to fight with you, I just want to have a chat about a few things are bothering me. I love you and I want to sort it all out.” Emphasise to your partner that all you want to do is talk. This should help to keep things calm.

Be open and honest in your conversation

Choose the time/setting of your discussion carefully: When you’re planning on talking some issues through with your other half, you need to make sure that the two of you are available to talk and on neutral ground. For example, rather than trying to have this conversation in the pub after you’ve both had a hard day at the office, try a Saturday afternoon when the two of you are happy, relaxed and just chilling out at home. Also, make sure you have some privacy – this is about the two of you only. The rest of the world doesn’t need to know what’s happening.

Be open to what’s happening: Don’t assume that although you have issues, your partner has none. Expect that your partner will have some things to say about you too. Good relationship discussions are never one-sided. No matter what your issues with him are, you will have to accept that you could be part of the problem too.

Always remember that ignoring problems will not make them go away: No matter how much you try and convince yourself that everything is fine, deep down you’ll know that you have to address what’s been bugging you. Sit your man down and talk about it before it becomes a major, relationship-threatening problem. Bottling up your feelings will just create resenment and we all know that resentment is never a good thing to have in a relationship.